So you fucked up. You drove drunk, smashed into another car, and injured the passengers. Now you’re part of the legal system, and at the mercy of very human, and very flawed human beings who have a very tenuous grasp on the separation of church and state. The result is probation, and an odd book report on the book of Job.

Such is the fate of Cassandra Tolley, who wound up agreeing to this strange request from Judge Michael Nettles (which appears to be the only reason this hasn’t caused more uproar). He wants her to read the book of Job, which has a certain tinge of cruel irony to it. You see, Tolley is apparently a victim of abuse, which would certainly make her feel some sympathy with poor Job, who is tortured by God in order to win a bet with Satan.

The story is said to have a happy ending, but considering his entire family was annihilated, I’m not entirely sure having twice the livestock makes up for it. In any case, I hold to my statement that reading the Bible is the fastest path to atheism. What else are you supposed to conclude from the story other than God considers humanity no better than toys, to be used, abused, and discarded as he deems fit? What a swell guy! Can he have all my money?

Are you starting to feel as though we’re losing this war of ideas? Sure, we keep growing day by day, but when push comes to shove, we can’t hold a candle to our religious counterparts when it comes to getting organized. Take, Bill Dallas for example. After spending half of his 5 year sentence for embezzlement, Bill was “born-again” while in prison. Rather than try and defraud people out of their money through real-estate, Bill has decided instead to get into politics (next logical step, right?) He managed to convince a bunch of rich Silicon Valley executives to fund a company that data-mines the internet looking for unregistered voters with a religious bent. The company, called “United In Purpose“, awards “points” for individuals in their massive database which strongly indicate conservative values. If you’ve ever watched Nascar, gone fishing, or subscribed to any anti-abortion newsletter, odds are you’ve scored high on their system, and you might just get a call.

The company buys lists to build a profile of each citizen, and then assigns points for certain characteristics. You get points if you’re on an anti-abortion list or a traditional marriage list. You get a point if you regularly attend church or home-school your kids. You get points if you like NASCAR or fishing.

So far, UIP claims their database comprises some 180 million adults, and that number continues to grow as UIP keeps buying up mailing lists from anyone willing to sell information. They then compare anyone with high scores on their close-minded scale and then attempt to get these people to register to vote, sometimes even showing up at their door.

Can you even imagine something of that scope happening on our side? How are we supposed to compete with companies who get set up specifically to find morons and get them to vote ultra-conservative on everything? How can we hope to win this war if we’re still acting like a bunch of unherdable cats? Fuck me these guys are organized…

After being interviewed for a piece on the armed forces by the Patriot-News – a scrappy little Pennsylvania Newspaper that despite its small readership still manages to win accolades – it was discovered that Rev. Jim Moats was not in fact a Navy Seal, and that he had fabricated a story based on the movie “Under Siege”.

“We deal with these guys all the time, especially the clergy. It’s amazing how many of the clergy are involved in those lies to build that flock up,” Shipley said.

I guess when you’re trying to impress your new flock, you’re bound to embellish things a little. In Moats’ case, he had his two sons make him a fake Navy Seals plaque and simply didn’t correct people who assumed that he must have fought in Vietnam as a special op. He didn’t, and when a real newspaper actually bothered to check up on the story, they found out that they had been duped. So they went back, confronted this lying moron, and got him to confess he’s been pretending all this time to be a hot shot when he’s merely a cowardly liar. Do you expect anything else from guys who make their living spewing nonsense professionally?

Isn’t it hilarious how religious people are utterly convinced believing in the absurd makes them better people? Despite plenty of proof to the contrary, it never seems to register that for the most part, religion makes people more xenophobic, more racist, more likely to support torture, and more ignorant. How are you supposed to be more moral when that’s the case?

If Christianity is supposed to make you more law abiding and moral (I chuckle every time I actually say that out loud), then we should expect the so-called “experts” in its theology to be shining beacons of moral rectitude. Of course, we all know that’s not the case. If they aren’t shoving their penises in inappropriate places or beating the crap out of orphans, some of them are just trying to get paid:

A 67-year-old Roman Catholic priest was arrested at his Queenstown church mission for allegedly selling baby formula meant to be given free to underprivileged children.

The priest was arrested on Thursday afternoon while allegedly selling the milk to the public, after police and the Eastern Cape health department were alerted to the trade, Daily Dispatch reported on Friday

Nice job, dude. Guys like you make disparaging religion easy.

A few days ago, I celebrated September 9th, 2009 by recording a second bonus podcast (since the original one was lost forever), and spent most of the day reading for new material to talk about for future shows. The date had no real significance to the vast majority of the planet, but for Jose Marc Flores Pereira, it was a special day. He had received a revelation from God that Mexico would suffer from a terrible earthquake, so he did the only thing he could think of: he made a fake bomb with a bunch of juice cans and hijacked an Boeing 737.

Father Pereira was convinced the date, 09/09/09 would signify the presence of the devil (since upside down the numbers would read 666), and he wanted to hijack the plane in order to get an audience with the Mexican president to urge him to preach the gospel from Mexico City’s central square.

Pereira’s wife admits the dude has “psychological problems”, which at least explains why this former singer and drug addict is allowed to go around preaching insane stories of virgin births, resurrections, and worldwide floods.

His family doesn’t sound like they are very helpful. His mother was aware of his plans, and because he claimed to be divinely ordained by God to do this, she let him go with her blessing. So an insane lunatic was allowed to carry out his plan with the full compliance of his family because his religion masked his deep psychological issues. The amount of times mental illness goes unreported because of religion is too numerous to count, and until we admit such beliefs are indicative of psychological disorders, these kinds of stories will keep happening. This guy needs help, not religion.