Ok, so the animation is a little crude, but the girl who plays the tutor is smoking hot, no? That alone is worth the price of admission. Word of advice, if the creators of the video happen to fall on this site for some weird reason: lose the beard. He wasted precious screen time with his face while we could have benefited more from supreme hotness.
Tag Archives: funny
Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter, So Terrible it’s Awesome
Talking bowl of cherries, vampires that seem unaffected by daylight, and some of the worse kung-fu choreography since American Ninja 3 makes this a must see movies, people (is it my imagination, or is Optimus Prime doing the voice-over for AN3?).
Calling all Hot Christian women!
Ready for the ultimate in cockteasing annoying bitches, my dear single atheist friends? Well, you can look forward to blue balls and a headache as Tamara trains an army of Christian women to date nonbelievers with the intent of converting them to their particularly idiotic religion.
Hello, my name is Tamara! As you can probably tell, I’m a Christian woman who loves Jesus Christ and cares for all humans, even the wicked. What you probably don’t know is that I’m hot. My picture below isn’t really that good. I want to use my beauty for GOD, and want to encourage Christian women (my sisters in Christ) to do the same, according to the Great Commission.
Not only can we date hot guys (as only hot Christian girls could do), but hopefully we can lead them to God and help them get saved them from the burning fires of Hell. I’ve outlined a few tips to help you get a date off to the right start, step-by-step. Jesus saves through hooking up with cute heathen guys!
Are you ready for these tips, ladies? We’ll try and ignore the horrible grammar mistakes (judge not, Jacob, lest ye be judged) and focus on the core message here:
1. If he tells your that you are hot…
Tell him God made you hot.2. If he wants to hold your hand…
Give him a Bible.3. If he tries to get closer…
Tell him the Holy Spirit is wooing him.4. If he asks to pay for dinner…
Remind him that Jesus also paid a debt He did not owe!5. If he reaches his arm around you…
Tell him that nobody will ever be as close to you as Jesus is.
(or ask him if you instead could “lay hands” on him in prayer)6. If he tries to kiss you…
Remind him that a kiss killed your Savior.
(and you’re not ready to “speak in tongues”)7. If he asks to come inside…
Ask him if he has asked Jesus to come inside his heart.8. If he tells you he loves you…
Tell him that Jesus loves him.9. If he gets angry that you won’t put out…
Clarify to him that W.W.J.D. does NOT mean “Who would Jesus Do.”10. After you dump him…
Tell him that Jesus Christ will never leave or forsake him.
Can you imagine dating someone like that?
Hot Atheist Guy: “Why don’t we go back to my house for supper”
Annoying Hot Christian chick: “No thanks, Jesus was betrayed during his last supper”
Is there a tip for what happens when this hot guy you’ve been leading on catches wind of your little plan? Odds are he won’t exactly be cool with you trying to use sex to convert him…
(Update: The website no longer exists)
SMBC Theater: God’s press conference
The payoff is at the end. Priceless.
Auto-tune used for good instead of evil
If you’ve been a regular visitor of the site for a while, you’ll recall I’m quite partial to these kinds of auto-tune symphonies about science. It’s the one time when I can actually stand what is arguably the worst musical invention since the Theremin.
Joe Dixon’s Atheist Bible Study
Fan of the show, Joe Dixon, does a little video series called “Atheist Bible Study” and asked me to post this. His bow tie was so charming I forgave the fact the video is 15 minutes long. Well, my last podcast was over an hour and a half, so who am I to judge? You’ve got to love his enthusiasm.
Why do good things happen to bad people?
Alright, the video is a little long, but it’s still entertaining, and he’s right in saying the answers to this fundamentally important question are all completely inadequate. I think theists should just admit if there is a God, he/she/it is certainly not “All Loving”. A simple look at Hell would quickly demonstrate that fact. No matter how cruel the real world is (with people and animals suffering untold pain), at least eventually it’s over. But in the supposed “supernatural” realm, pain supposedly continues for eternity. This is not the action of an all loving God, but rather those of a revenge-hungry maniac. Good thing it’s all bullshit, right?
This song blows
So diversity is bad? Were they also trying to say everyone needs a gun too? I’m confused…
We Stand Defeated, People
So let’s surmise this man’s arguments.
- I think God is a better explanation because I clearly don’t understand cosmic evolution.
- The complexity of the environment is best understood by belief in an even more complex and mysterious strange force that exists outside of time and space
- I see design everywhere, therefore a designer best explains what I see.
- The alternative to my theory is the Universe popped out of a desert
- Ethics and morality never existed before the Bronze Age
- The mind can’t come from matter because that sounds less favorable to my opinion.
Irrefutable, really. I should just pack up my shit and start my new life in the service of an ever-loving man-god figure who’s sole interest in life is the absolute sheepish devotion of an ape that walks upright and takes itself way too seriously.
Finally, proof God is real!
You hear that ladies? All you need to do to be hot like Selma Hayek is to put your hands in holy water and pray for God to give you gigantic Latino breasts. I have seen the light, folks. Hallelujah!
The Anti-Christ gives an interview
I know, this is almost too painful to watch, but there’s something fascinating about watching this obvious train-wreck. For starters, how fucking polite is this piss-ant Anti-Christ? If I wore a crazy executioner’s mask with a fedora, I would have totally nailed the part.
NOTE: Best line: (when asked if he likes power) “It’s delightful”
War on swine reaches UK toy store
Toy store “Early Learning Center” in the UK has removed the plastic pigs in their children’s toy farm out of fear it might offend Jewish and Muslim parents. Of course, “Happyland” still contains the sty, complete with a button that makes an oinking sign when pressed. Talk about confusing!
Luckily, some people have their heads screwed on right (well, mostly):
Fellow Muslim mum Natasha added: “If you don’t want your kid playing with a pig toy, simply throw it in the bin. Other kids should not have to suffer.” Netmums’ founder Siobhan Freegard said: “Removing pigs from farm sets is like introducing ‘Baa Baa White Sheep’ and calling Christmas ‘The Winter Holiday.’ Please let common sense prevail.”
Sure, 1/5 of the world thinks these animals are unclean, but these same folks also feel the same way about dogs, shrimp, and certain kinds of birds, all because their ignorant make-believe books tell them so! Perhaps one day swine will not be such a mortal enemy that it’s left out of toy farms, but that day has not yet come. Until then, I say destroy the pink ones from the face of this earth!
Hitler the atheist (the quiz show)
Man, talk about a complete smackdown over the argument that Hitler was an atheist. I’m normally not a fan of videos of that length, but it’s pretty damn complete in terms of an argument, and it’s funny to boot. Enjoy!
Ron Babcock slams creationism
A satisfying smackdown of the stupidest non theory ever concieved.
Don’t ever change, Bubbles
The Trailer Park Boys know how to deal with obnoxious religionists who can’t keep their dumb beliefs to themselves. If you’ve never watched the show, it’s 14 carat Canadian gold.