The only lesson I can gather from the story of Job is he was a pawn in a cosmic pissing match between God and the Devil. Had this actually happened, I would have been disgusted, but luckily it’s just your typical desert people myth. Man with lots of wealth gets fucked over but keeps on believing in God. The lesson: don’t expect to have a good life even if you are devout. What a fair deal, no?
Tag Archives: funny
John Safran tells it like it is
This scene is from “John Safran vs God“, a television program from Australia. Although his voice may be shrill and annoying, the guy knows how to make good television (I strongly recommend downloading it). Hopefully, I’m one of those guys who’s smart enough to be an atheist, but hey, you never know…
You so naughty, girl!
You know that stereotype that all conservative women are really just secret perverts who turn to religion as a doomed way of getting their perversion under control? Well, here’s another story proving that there seems to be a bit of truth to the idea. Kristin Maguire is a religious conservative with an alter ego who writes and publishes pornographic stories online. She was also the chair of the SC state board of education until it was discovered she was also one naughty little girl. Here is some of her work:
Erik’s eyes slid closed on another groan. I could feel his dick swelling up as my swallowing and his hip pumping synched. My mouth watered in anticipation of being filled with his cum. His balls drew up and I knew he was close. I increased the tempo of my swallowing, driving him to his climax. I wanted to finish Erik before Joren finished himself.
That’s the tamest paragraph I could find, and as you can probably tell, this story is about a happy little threesome. You can check out the rest of it here (you better hurry; she’s trying to destroy all evidence of her writing), and as you’ve guessed, it’s obviously not safe for work. It reads right out of a cheesy porn flick, but I actually LIKE porn, so why would I complain? I just feel sorry for Kristin, who seems to have a lot of sexual imagination; something that’s probably creating a lot of internal conflict with her religion.
Hey, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with writing filth. Personally I love this kind of stuff. Still, I always laugh whenever a conservative gets caught doing something they publicly deride. Hey, we’re all human here, and we all love porn. It’s just a shame so many people have to pretend they don’t so they can feel morally superior to others.
Embrace your hedonism Kristin, and keep writing your naughty stories! Just stop telling everyone evolution is wrong, and students should be taught abstinence instead of sex ed. Remember: not everyone is as sexually repressed as you!
Who wants this man for mayor?
OK, I was tempted to make fun of what this guy is saying, but he is literally incomprehensibly insane. I think he says Jesus Christ a total of 12 times in less than 3 minutes. He wants people to work for a dollar a year (and fire anyone who says no), and claims as mayor, he’ll refuse to work with anyone connected with Satan. This Glenn Moon character should forget about running for mayor, and instead look for a job with Fox News.
Also, don’t you love how much he yells? Is he running for Mayor or coach of a little league team?
Bibleman is terrible
I wonder which part of the Bible he follows. Do you think he would stone kids to death for being disobedient, or swearing at them? There’s also a chick superhero in the group. I bet whenever she’s on her period, the others ask her to stay out of their secret fortress or something (hey, I didn’t make the rules here!). The show is apparently geared to 6 year olds, which goes a long way to explain why it looks so goddamn terrible.
Rabbit Jesus!
I actually think I prefer this version of the story to the Christian gospel (it also involves chocolate, which is awesome). It finally made me understand why all my old pets are burning in hell. I should have told them about Rabbit Jesus!
Can you make it through the whole song?
Your challenge for today is to make it through the whole song here without losing your sanity. If I did it, so can you. For those of you who are gluttons for punishment, you can go visit Billy Wayne here.
I think the most interesting line in this terrible song is this: “He sent his only son to bear my shame”. I really have to wonder what shame he’s talking about. Is it possible this former Broadway actor has some kind of deep, dark (and possibly sexy) secret, and only Jesus can admonish him for such a shameful sin? I wonder what it could be…
This Tattoo is Real, People!
I don’t know what to tell you other than I hope this tattoo is as awesome 30 years from now as it is today!
Smack them Christians down!
Ok, so I’ll admit the song is actually kind of lame, but I can dig all the effort they put behind this thing. It’s obviously very tongue-in-cheek, and I’m glad the fat guy from Office Space is still getting work (he played the corrupt minister in the beginning).
Test your Faith vision!
Blog superstar Pharyngula posted this yesterday, and I thought it was too funny not to show those of you who don’t follow his blog the works of Edward Current. He’s done tons of videos like this. What’s great about them is they tend to fall under Poe’s Law for some, and it’s always funny to read the YouTubers who think he’s actually being serious.
Tim Minchin is the man
I went to see Tim Minchin two years ago when he came to the Just for Laughs festival. I always love watching these kinds of performers, who combine humor, intelligence, and insight into their acts. As most TGA fans have probably realized by now, I get a huge hard-on for rationality.
Stephen Lynch: Craig Christ
Man, Craig Christ sounds like the kind of guy you want to party with. He’s a lot less of a downer than his brother who condemns non-believers to hell!
I miss George Carlin
He hasn’t even been dead for a year and already I miss his antics. We need a new comedian to fill the role of hilarious curmudgeon to otherwise shame and ridicule people who believe in stupid things. Here he is pointing out that UFO believers are actually less crazy than Christians.
The Atheist Apocalypse
Two things I like about this cartoon: 1) The artist takes the time to lay out his joke, and 2) one of the guys is wearing an old Quebec Nordiques shirt. Be sure to go check out the comic here!
Magic man done it!
When you take ‘Intelligent Design’ and boil it down, this is what you get as an explanation: magic man done it!