You can always count on Ultra-Orthodox Jews to do something crazy. If they aren’t busy showing up at a Holocaust denier conference, they’re harassing little girls for dressing “immodestly”. All of this bad press has intensified resentment for these fundamentalist weirdos, so in an effort to fight this image problem, they decided to parade around town in uniforms similar to the ones worn by Jews in concentration camps.

Demonstrating against what they viewed as incitement against the ultra-Orthodox in Israeli media, about 1,000 men marched through the streets of their neighborhood, many of them dressed in concentration camp uniforms and wearing yellow Stars of David, which Jews were forced to wear in Nazi-occupied Europe.

Well, that should convince everyone that you aren’t a bunch of out-of-touch, religious douche-bags without a clue.

It normally doesn’t take long for some religious nutbag to say something that a) is tremendously racist b) is totally out of touch with reality or c) torpedoes the peace process. This week, the award for “worse religious representative ever” goes out to Rabbi Ovadia Yosef, who managed to prove decisively the divisive power of religion is as strong as ever.

In a sermon last Saturday he had this message for his flock:

Goyim were born only to serve us. Without that, they have no place in the world – only to serve the People of Israel. Why are Gentiles needed? They will work, they will plow, they will reap. We will sit like an effendi and eat…That is why Gentiles were created”

To be fair this bigoted piece of shit is 90 years old, so he’s quite naturally totally out of touch with reality. Still, it brings to mind the radical shit people say when they are convinced without a shadow of a doubt magical sky daddy picked them to be on their touch football team.

NOTE: Anyone who thinks I’m being unfair should also take note this old sack of shit said the following about the Holocaust:

The six million Holocaust victims were reincarnations of the souls of sinners, people who transgressed and did all sorts of things that should not be done. They had been reincarnated in order to atone.

Need I say more?

It can’t be a normal day without some religious organization trying to censor the materials their flock is exposed to. Today’s unreasonable ban comes from Hasidic Jews in Israel who want to ban or heavily restrict the Internet for their congregation.

Although I’m not surprised these religious idiots would be so scared by the information super highway (remember when we all called it that?), I do find it telling they apparently think their own members aren’t mature and disciplined enough to control their own consumption. Do they not trust their own fellow Jews NOT to visit licentious sites on the World Wide Web? I think it’s telling just how paranoid and distrustful the religious sect is of their own flock. Better in their view to outright ban anything that might open up their eyes to the wider world; it’s sad, really.

I have to admit I got a bit of laugh over this bit of news. Apparently, flight 3079 out of LaGuardia was diverted to Philadelphia after security personnel mistook a Jewish prayer device, called a Tefillin, for some kind of home made bomb. A Tefillin is a set of small leather boxes painted black which contains passages from the Torah, and the leather strap is supposed to go around various parts of your body. It’s another weird and pointless tradition that is supposed to symbolize something important, but ends up merely looking weird and pointless; it’s just crappy sheep leather and bits of fucking paper.

It probably didn’t help that the 17 year old was also praying fairly loudly; people tend to freak out when they see a weird device being strapped on someone’s body by someone praying nervously. I don’t really blame airport security or the FBI for their lack of familiarity with Jewish traditions: with all the crazy shit religionists consider sacred and divine, it’s hard to keep track of it sometimes. The one thing I love from this story is it just goes to show people really aren’t afraid of atheists like you and me. When push comes to shove, it’s the individuals with strong religious convictions that scare the shit out of us, and for good reasons; they’re usually the ones blowing shit up in the name of their imaginary friends, not us.

You would think biking is so common these days no one would even think twice about it. But it turns out New York Hasidic Jews had the city sandblast cycling lanes in their Brooklyn neighborhood because they considered it a “religious hazard”. The problem, you see, is female cyclists are usually scantily clad in the summer, and Hasidic men are too sexually frustrated to deal with that shit. The city caved to their ludicrous demands, but a group of vigilantes have actually repainted the bike lanes in (can you still call yourself that when police see you do it and do nothing?.

Apparently it’s OK to be a segregationist when you’re religious, and like anyone trying to live by some insane orthodoxy, they often demand the rest of the world accommodate their ridiculous beliefs. I remember the Hasidic community in my city tried to force the YWCA to paint their windows in, claiming it was hard for their male members to avoid staring through them. I had a simple answer to this problem; how about not letting a bunch of delusional wackjobs tell everyone else how to live? Just a crazy idea, I know, but I think it might be a good one.

I was reading an old article on BBCnews about a Jewish school that was refusing admission to students who had no blood relation to Judaism. The school was trying to defend their stance, arguing that this was a matter of religion, not race. I don’t buy that bullshit for one second.

Consider this: a few months ago, the Israeli government created a series of ads warning Jews not to marry non-Jews after a study found a significant portion of the population was breeding outside their own “tribe”. They fear if the population begins to assimilate into the culture of others, the State of Israel will disappear. This type of xenophobic fear is not only overtly racist, it’s entirely antiquated and wrong.

Mixed marriages are not even recognized in Israel, which seems awfully familiar to anyone who’s ever experienced institutionalized racism. It doesn’t really surprise me that the small tribe of Judaism is afraid they might disappear if they intermarry with other cultures. What angers me is when they are allowed to get away with racist and alarmist rhetoric out of the sick idea that they need to maintain “racial purity” in order for their religion to thrive. Personally, I find this kind of thing sickening. We want to encourage people of different races and cultures to marry and shag one another. This is actually the quickest way to peace; people tend to stop fighting when they start breeding together.

Stop trying to pass off your fucking fascism as some kind of noble religious pursuit. I don’t buy it, and nobody else does.

I actually have a few friends who observe the Sabbath, refusing to use any electronic devices, perform any kind of labor, and not even touching any money. I’ve always found their customs to be rather silly, but then again, that’s how I feel about most types of rituals. I don’t have a problem with people doing what they want, so long as they keep it to themselves.

Well, that’s not good enough for some. An Orthodox couple in the UK are suing over religious discrimination because the lights in their apartment hallway have sensors which automatically turn on whenever they detect any movement. They now say they are unable to leave their apartment as a result.

They want the lights changed and their neighbors to financially compensate them for their troubles. Obviously, people in the building are less than impressed, and I can’t blame them. The light sensors were installed to avoid wasting energy, and as an environmentally conscious person, I approve the use of such devices. The fact they make observing Sabbath a problem is not anyone’s concern but the people who hold these types of useless rituals.

I’m tired of otherwise compromising and reasonable people being sued left and right because the feelings of religious folks are being hurt. The sensors are there for people’s safety and convenience. If Mr. and Mrs. Coleman are unhappy about this type of technology, there are plenty of places in Bournemouth they can move to. Demanding others inconvenience themselves to accommodate some stupid tradition is not only ridiculous; it’s fucking insulting. No one is forcing them to live there. When will religious people stop thinking the whole world revolves around them?

It’s a nice sunny weekend and you’re trying to enjoy the sunlight and fresh air. You’re not at the swankiest of events, but the opening of a new public parking space is about as much excitement as you can get. Everything is peaceful, everybody is happy, and all of a sudden you get hit in the head with a rock.

Now there are very few reasons to throw rocks at anyone. I think we can all agree that apart from perhaps being acceptable during life or death situations, the ‘throwing large rocks intended to crack people’s fragile skulls’ is a pretty dick move. Well, some Orthodox Jews living in Israel apparently think it’s kosher to pelt people with rocks because they feel doing any type of activity on a Saturday (yes, even the grand opening of a parking structure) is in clear defiance of Yahweh. Presumably, the guy can’t seem to defend himself, so he sends his minions after us.

It’s not even as though officials hadn’t taken already precautions to avoid offending religious purists. The municipality had ensured the parking structure would not be operated by any Jews, and no money would be exchanged. That wasn’t enough to stop some of the protesters from hurling used baby diapers at police.

Hey, religious wackos, can you all calm the fuck down and let people enjoy their weekend? Life can suck enough without having your day ruined by a bunch of idiots wearing ridiculous outfits throwing rocks at you. Can you guess why people are starting to get tired of all your bullshit, religion? Get the fuck out of our faces!