American Churches To Get Government Money to Arm Themselves

Holy crap, does America ever have a galactic hard-on for gun. It’s not enough that the country owns more guns than actual people there, now the government wants people to have more, which is why there is a new grant that Churches can apply for if they wish to get free money to pay for armed security guards. I wish I was making this up.

Unfortunately, houses of worship can often be soft targets. By their nature, these locations are easily accessible to large numbers of people and have limited security measures in place, which can make them vulnerable to an attack. With the Houses of Worship Security Grant, eligible organizations can hire trained security professionals who, in an emergency, can mitigate or prevent a tragedy.

What problem are they trying to solve? Mass shootings? Forget about trying to reform their gun laws: instead, the public will need to pay out of pocket so that paranoid churches can have bodyguards. In 2024, there have already been over 200 mass shootings, but only one of them was at a church, which happens to be owned by one of the richest pastors in America: Joel Osteen. This has precipitated churches to ask for volunteers to arm themselves and stand guard, despite the fact that random gun violence is the rarity. Let’s not forget that the megachurch shooter had already made multiple threats before she acted. The fact that she was “taken down” by two off duty officers was all people needed to hear: the solution is more guns.

Keep in mind that the vast majority of these shootings appear to be at parks, birthday parties, and in people’s homes. Does that mean that every house party now needs government subsidies to hire bodyguards for the event? Surely this should instead be a wakeup call for Americans. Even your houses of worship aren’t safe, and the millions of dollars they want to spend to put a sleepy, poorly trained guard on watch is the equivalent of putting a band-aid on an arterial wound. The solution is simple: stop selling guns to mentally unstable people, and then maybe you won’t have so many dead from the world’s most preventable tragedy.

Shootout at the Olsteen Corral

If you’re familiar with Prosperity Gospel, then you know who Joel Olsteen is. With a net worth of over 50 million, Olsteen has used religion like a piggy bank, enriching himself by promising that large donations to his church, or seeding as they like to call it, would financially bless those stupid enough to give him money.

Now, instead of being just a con artist, Olsteen has joined the ranks of churches that have experienced serious gun violence during their services. The details are still a little fuzzy, but we do know that at around 1:50pm, a middle aged woman with a 5 year old child began opening fire in the church just as the Spanish translation of their sales pitch was about to begin:

The woman was pronounced dead at the scene. Estimated to be between 30 and 35 years old, she was not immediately identified by authorities. Finner said that the woman had threatened she also “had a bomb,” but authorities searching her backpack and vehicle had been unable to locate any explosives.

The child was also hit with gunfire, though it’s not clear if it was the result of the shootout with police. He’s still in critical condition. Thankfully, there were only a few injured people. Had the woman showed up a little earlier, when there was a full house of over 45k worshippers, things could have been a lot worse.

All we can do at this point is speculate about what happened. Considering the predatory nature of the church, I’m willing to bet that perhaps this woman’s had a financial bone to pick with Olsteen and his church. We’ll need for the investigation to be completed. With the woman now dead, it may forever be a mystery.

The Good Atheist Podcast: EP 301

This week, I offer my list of the 11 worst quotes from public figures regarding the politicisation of the Sandy Hook killings. Also on the show, we contemplate the future, how justice in America has two tiers, and what are some of the causes of these types of mass murders.

The Good Atheist
The Good Atheist
The Good Atheist Podcast: EP 301
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