Author Archives: Jacob Fortin

Pedophile priest blames God for making him this way

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I’ve heard a lot of tortured explanations from the Catholic Church over the years as to why so many priests are sexually abusing children. Pope Benedict XVI claimed it was increased secularization that somehow made their theists behave so immorally. Homosexuality has also been blamed, despite the fact that as many female children are abused as males. Finally, though, one pedophile priest by the name of David Edwin Rapson in Australia has finally used a novel defense I think makes a bit more sense: He blamed God for making him that way:

A former Catholic priest accused of molesting boys at a Victorian school said, “God made us this way and it’s his fault” when a fellow priest urged him to resist

When he was finally confronted by a fellow priest, he responded to his accuser with “You’re one to talk. You’re the same as me….You know what we do here”, prompting me to think this must be yet another way these bastards get away with abuse for so long. Who’s going to report them? Their fellow molesters? Yeah, that fucking seems likely.

Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard has recently OK’d a royal commission to look into the abuse after a police detective named Peter Fox wrote a letter to his premier begging him to open up an investigation. Fox felt both the police department and the Church had actively sabotaged any investigation into the matter, and an independent body needed to look into the matter. Surprisingly, it didn’t take long for the government to spring into action (yeah, I know how weird it is to even write that down). Now we only need to sit back and watch the horror unfold before our eyes. I hope you have a strong stomach, Aussies, because you’re about to be put to the test in the coming months.

Doctors refused abortion because “it’s a Catholic country”

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Ireland may be quickly de-converting to atheism faster than any other country, but that certainly doesn’t mean the fight against superstition and religious indoctrination is over. If anything, the stakes have gotten higher, especially when it comes to certain key issues which don’t seem to go away. A young woman by the name of Savita Halappanavar was told she was miscarrying, and after one day in severe pain, asked for a medical termination. This was refused, her husband says, because the fetal heartbeat was still present and they were told, “this is a Catholic country”.

She spent a further 2½ days “in agony” until the fetal heartbeat stopped.

By the time the fetus’ heart had finally stopped, many of Savita’s organs had already begun to shut down. When they began operating on her, it was already too late, and she died.

the hospital extended its sympathy to the family and friends of Ms. Halappanavar but could not discuss the details of any individual case.

Somehow, a “sorry your wife died because our bullshit doctors think life begins at conception” doesn’t cut it. How about a “we’ll make sure no other woman has to die needlessly because we still think we’re living in the 18th century”. Ireland, I think it’s time for you to clean house and prove why you’re in the Top 10 atheist countries. Do it for the future Savitas’ of the world.

Christoga is as annoying as it sounds

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I have some fond memories of the TV show Northern Exposure. It might have something to do with the fact Alaska looks a lot like rural Quebec in the winter (complete with wood shacks, small town politics, and some adorable wackos). Janine Turner was in my spank bank for several years after the show had ended, but then again, I didn’t have the Internet to tell me what a bat-shit crazy bitch she is. When she isn’t supporting Sarah Palin as a political candidate, she’s helping teach people the secrets of ‘Christoga’, an exercise routine for aging Christian hags who want to spend as much time working out as the do praying to their invisible friend.

Is it a complete bastardization of another faith’s exercise routine? Sure, but to be fair, yoga had been watered down by white people for decades, so we’ll assume this is just yet another example of the pathetic cash-grab Christians are so famous for. “Watch us do ineffectual movements while vaguely mentioning Jesus.” Fun times…

Shocking: Atheist kids dare to express themselves

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If you’ve never heard of The Blaze (like probably 99% of the population), it’s a creation of Glenn Beck and his conservative production company, Mercury Radio Arts (the irony of naming your production company after a metal that makes one insane is probably lost on these people). If the site isn’t regularly scaring people into buying gold, it feeds them pseudo information that plays into people’s fears and prejudices. Their latest fear mongering article is about the American Humanist Association’s new website, KidswithoutGod.com, which they think aims at “converting kids over to the secular religion of atheism“

The atheist activist community in America has taken an increasingly-active role in trying to convince citizens with doubts about their faith to fully evolve into non-believers and to “come out,” publicly proclaiming their anti-theism. Think of it as a form of secular evangelism. Already, non-believers have attempted to reach clergy who are in doubt through The Clergy Project. Additionally, there’s a humanist church service each week in Tulsa, Oklahoma (and these are only two examples). Now, in addition to reaching adults, atheist activists have their eyes set on converting kids and teens.

The website, which dares to encourage kids to be nice to other people, eat well, tell the truth, take responsibility for one’s actions, to take care of the environment, and to think for themselves, probably seems to ignorant theists as some kind of effort to ‘indoctrinate’ kids (funny how they don’t seem to mind at all when it’s their shit they are trying to inculcate). In reality, it’s merely a place for kids who weren’t brainwashed at an early age to realize they aren’t the only disbelievers out there. One article is even entitled “No Name Calling” when referring to believers. You can’t get more milk-toast than that, folks.

Their over-reaction is kind of hilarious, don’t you think?

Italians want to finally tax the Catholic Church

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With all the belt tightening happening in Italy, the general population is putting into motion a plan to tax the Catholic Church’s many holdings and tax exempt businesses. The total amount of revenue this would generate for the country is estimated to be about a billion dollars annually.

Following their government’s latest austerity measure package, more than 130,000 people signed an online petition calling for the Church’s tax exempt status to be revoked. Since 2005, church-run groups and organizations have not been classed as official commercial bodies and have been exempt from paying property tax.

Now, before you go jumping for joy, keep in mind Italy would only be taxing property that doesn’t have a specific religious intent. Tax authorities will need to scrutinize all of the Church’s holdings to determine which category they fit in.

So, it’s still pretty weak-sauce, but it’s a step in the right direction. Here’s hoping Italy’s austerity measures (another nice way of saying “fuck the poor”) continue to drive the idea that the Church has been getting a free ride for way too long. Enjoy your privilege while you can, Vatican. Eventually, they’ll be coming for your gold plates and jewel encrusted cutlery.

All Uganda wants for Christmas is to kill the gays

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It was only a matter of time before Uganda – oblivious to international pressure – would pass their notorious ‘kill the gays’ bill. Claiming homosexuals pose a ‘serious threat’, the government has decided to pass the law by the end of December. The speaker of the Cabinet, Rebecca Kadaga (seen above waving a fucking Bible, what else?), said this would be a Christmas present for her constituents. This barbaric bill is divided into two parts:

‘Aggravated homosexuality’ is defined as gay acts committed by parents or authority figures, HIV-positive people, pedophiles and repeat offenders. If convicted, they will face the death penalty.

The ‘offense of homosexuality’ includes same-sex sexual acts or being in a gay relationship, and will be prosecuted by life imprisonment.

So, it’s either the death penalty or life imprisonment, depending on just how ignorant the prosecution is. Kadaga even suggested that the whole of Africa, a continent in the grips of religious revival, should pass similar laws to needlessly torture, imprison, and murder individuals whose only crime is to have same sex attractions.

American Evangelicals must be jumping for joy at the thought of all the anti-gay shit they keep spewing is being taken seriously by some people.

The Catholic church really is full of pedophiles

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It’s difficult to actually assess just how corrupt the Catholic Church is, but judging by the testimony of Father Kevin Lee, the accusation often lobbied at the church – mainly that it provides an attractive employment opportunity for sexual abusers – seems legitimate. Lee, who was fired for marrying a woman (the nerve!), had been documenting allegations of abuse for years, and found himself frustrated by the inaction of both church officials and police. Even the press wouldn’t touch it with a ten foot pole.

In the course of my life as a priest I became aware that some of the other priests were actually pedophiles, and not necessarily becoming priests because they wanted to help people. They were pedophiles that were looking for opportunity… I saw a system of cover-up, a system of blind-eye turning and just ignorance of the fact is was happening.

You don’t need to be a cynic to understand the reasons for this. Since the very inception of the church – a creepy old boys club breathlessly anticipating the destruction of the world in a sea of blood – there’s been something fundamentally wrong with this organization. As early as 60 AD, reports of child abuse could already be found in a document entitled The Didache, which stipulates quite plainly that the priestly class is not to seduce young boys (guess it was a real problem after just a few years doing their shtick).

Even in the 11th century, when a priest wrote the Book of Gomorrah (a book largely condemning homosexuality), the author complained of a systematic cover-up of the rape of young boys. Evidently, this institution has a long and practiced history when it comes to providing shelter and attractive opportunities to offend (and get moved around for a fresh batch of innocents). If you wanted to offend and avoid going to jail, what career would you chose? How many other organizations provide this level of comfort and protection to people who sexually abuse children?

Help strip politically bent religious institutions of tax exempt status

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Remember a few weeks back when over 1000 preachers openly defied the IRS and began politically endorsing Mitt Romney? Well, it certainly wasn’t the first time these guys broke the law, and it certainly won’t be the last. This stunt was in an effort to repeal a law that until now, the IRS has refused to enforce. Gutsy, this was not.

“Pulpit Freedom Sunday” has been staged annually since 2008 by a group called the Alliance Defending Freedom. Its aim is to provoke a challenge from the U.S. Internal Revenue Service in order to file a lawsuit and have its argument out in court.

In response to this outrageous affront to a simple rule allowing them not to pay taxes (effectively making us all sponsors of their nonsense), there’s an online petition aiming to put pressure on the Obama Administration to actually enforce this tax code on offending religious institutions.

In recent years, the IRS has turned a blind eye to offending Religious institutions that mix religion with politics. By not enforcing the qualifications & disqualification’s of 26 U.S.C. § 501(c) of the United States tax code, the IRS is doing a diservice [sic] to both the American people & the vision of our forefathers.

I know most of you think petitions aren’t worth the paper they are printed on (especially ones with a typo in a three paragraph pitch), but keep in mind that with the election over, Obama no longer needs to tip toe around Evangelicals anymore. And if he wants a Democratic congress in 2014, the best way to ensure that is to stop preachers from using their immense power to essentially control the vote of their congregation (who almost always vote conservative).

They still need about 21,000 signatures, so if you’re as ass pissed off as I am that religious douche-bags keep abusing their tax exempt status, why don’t you take 3 minutes out of your day and sign the damn thing?

Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?

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You could easily replace the word ‘segregation’ with ‘marriage equality’, and echo the same argument modern bigots are using to try and justify their homophobia. They talk of freedom from tyranny, ignoring completely the fact that it is their hatred and intolerance which creates the inequity that so characterizes tyrannies.

The good news is the man in this video, George Wallace Jr., would eventually change his mind after an assassination attempt and being born again. He would even make history by appointing two African Americans in his cabinet (which in Alabama has yet to be surpassed even today). So, even the most ardent bigots can sometimes change their minds. Sort of gives you hope, right?

New South Wales Premier OKs inquiry into clergy abuse

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Tell me if this doesn’t sound like a kick ass movie: a police detective -convinced the police force has been helping clergy cover up sexual abuse- sends a letter to the premier urging him to open an investigation into the whole affair. If it wasn’t actually happening in New South Wales, I’d think maybe it was a cheesy John Grisham novel.

Detective Chief Inspector Peter Fox (sounds like a movie name, right?) sent a letter to Premier Barry O’Farrell challenging him to open a royal commission to look into multiple abuse cover-ups by the Catholic Church, along with the co-operation of certain corrupt police officers. It appears this Australian Serpico has been investigating these abuses for over a decade, and found so many cases of abuse that he’s lost count.

“I can testify from my own experience that the church covers up, silences victims, hinders police investigations, alerts offenders, destroys evidence and moves priests to protect the good name of the church,” he wrote in his letter.

As you can imagine, his failure to follow the proper chain of command has angered a lot of people in his department, and his police department is throwing him under the bus (claiming the church has been co-operative, like we fucking believe that for one second). Still, it seems as though he’s managed to create enough of a stir that the premier has agreed to the idea. Now we simply have to wait and see all the horrible stories emerge. Just one more reason for Aussies to abandon this poison called religion.

Maybe Pat was talking to Satan

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I wonder if Pat Robertson remembers this little gem from back in January, when he claimed God told him in advance that Obama was going to lose the election…which he of course did not. If I was him, I’d just pull the same stunt Mohammed did whenever he was caught making a bullshit prediction: just blame it on the devil. He’s the go-to guy for all your lame excuses: did you cheat on your wife? The devil made you do it! Did you fail to pay your taxes? The devil’s work I tells ya! Man, why take personal responsibility for anything when you can blame some supernatural entity?

Beck wants you to become a Pilgrim

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With conservatives still freaking out over the fact their president is still black, you can expect some of the nuttier flavors of the Religious Right to step up their rhetoric. Glenn Beck, straight off his prediction God had promised the White House to a Mormon, has advised his aged listeners that the world will soon end, and their only recourse is to buy plenty of farmland and guns.

Inflation is coming, the fiscal cliff is coming, the dollar fell last night in the news… your health-care costs are going up [lie], your religion is going to come under attack [by reality maybe], gas, coal and energy is going to be more expensive [but please don’t buy a fuel efficient car, that’s un-American]…may I recommend that if you have a chance to buy farmland, you buy farmland… find a place where you are surrounded by like minded people [sounds like a cult]. Get your kids away from schools that are indoctrinating them with socialism [instead of Jesus]. May I highly suggest you get grandfathered in to the second amendment today [i.e. buy the biggest and most dangerous gun you can]. And don’t forget the ammunition.

I expect to see much more of this kind of reaction: conservatives becoming increasingly more isolated with the realization that they are no longer the majority. The solution? Move somewhere where everyone agrees with you and become even more extreme in your views. Sounds like a great plan, Glenn!

Maryland gets Marriage Equality

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I know the big news story today is President Obama being re-elected, but I hope this bit of news doesn’t get buried under all the brouhaha: it seems as though the tiny state of Maryland has legalized same-sex marriage by approving “Question 6″ on the ballot. Now, before you celebrate this victory, you should know a few important details:

Establishes that Maryland’s civil marriage laws allow gay and lesbian couples to obtain a civil marriage license, provided they are not otherwise prohibited from marrying; protects clergy from having to perform any particular marriage ceremony in violation of their religious beliefs; affirms that each religious faith has exclusive control over its own theological doctrine regarding who may marry within that faith; and provides that religious organizations and certain related entities are not required to provide goods, services, or benefits to an individual related to the celebration or promotion of marriage in violation of their religious beliefs.

Can you imagine any civil rights legislation that still protected religious institutions from their blatant racism? I know I should be happy for gay couples finally getting the same rights as everyone else, but I can’t help but feel like this toothless referendum further legitimizes institutionalized homophobia. It’s no different than allowing churches the right to deny interracial marriages, since those too are specifically condemned by the Bible (remember when Lot’s daughters rape him in order not to have to take on foreign husbands?). I realize this was a necessary concession, but we should recognize the major barrier to marriage equality is still religion, and we shouldn’t be afraid to call it like it is.

Gary Cass is a hilarious bible-nut

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Here are some of my favorite ridiculous tropes:

1) Harvard University is Jesus’ #1 enemy, because there’s learnin’ going on there.
2) America apparently elects people that like killing babies (he may be referring to abortion, but I think their ICBM’s do a better job.
3) You can’t be a good Christians unless you can instantly kill somebody with a gun.
4) Secular progressives have abandoned God (that’s why they’re called secular, genius).
5) Everyone who doesn’t believe in his version of Christ is a Marxist.

Contraception is a gateway drug to abortion!

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Catholics are hilarious. It’s been 60 years since the invention of the pill, and these dinosaurs are still trying to argue that it’s the most evil invention since the guillotine.

Abortion and birth control are two sides of the same coin. The currency of which is the prevention and/or the destruction of nascent human life. While some forms of contraception, such as the condom or the diaphragm, are not themselves capable of destroying human life, (as are many chemical contraceptives, including forms of the Pill, the patch, and IUDs) they are a kind of “gateway drug” into the abortion mentality.

Ah yes, the gateway drug argument. If it worked to make a harmless drug like marijuana illegal, surely an illogical statement like this can prevent women from having full control over their reproductive cycles. The very fact that she’s even trying to prevent ovulation must mean she considers any potential child to be an enemy:

What I am saying is that the very act of using “birth control” (an oxymoron if ever there was one) pits prospective parents against prospective offspring.

Not sure if this guy actually knows what an oxymoron is, but this definitely doesn’t qualify (my example of an oxymoron would be ‘honest religion’, but I digress). Does he honestly believe that every woman who tried to regulate her ovulation is at war with her own body?

What I do believe, however, is that people who choose to contraception are damaging their consciences and hardening their hearts in a very real way, whether or not they acknowledge or comprehend the sinful nature of their actions. Sin, you see, has consequences. Whether or not we acknowledge our actions as sinful … heck, whether or not we even believe in sin, reality stands. And the reality is, contraception and abortion are about as intrinsically linked as are sugar and cavities. One doesn’t always cause the other, but it sure as heck predisposes the midnight snacker to more frequent trips to the dentist’s chair.

Snacking on all those birth control pills have made you into coldblooded killers, ladies. Can’t you just feel the genocide inside your womb every time you take your medicine? Man, I wish there was some kind of study that might actually attempt to answer the question of whether or not birth control reduces rates of abortion. Oh wait, here’s one:

Free birth control led to dramatically lower rates of abortions and teen births, a large study concludes….There also were substantially lower rates of abortion, when compared with women in the metro area and nationally: 4.4 to 7.5 abortions per 1,000 women in the study, compared with 13.4 to 17 abortions per 1,000 women overall in the St. Louis region, Peipert calculated. That’s lower than the national rate, too, which is almost 20 abortions per 1,000 women. In fact, if the program were expanded, one abortion could be prevented for every 79 to 137 women given a free contraceptive choice, Peipert’s team reported in the journal Obstetrics & Gynecology.

So, not only is that jackass wrong, his very objection to birth control actually allows more abortions to take place, and it’s not an insignificant number: the rates of abortion are double for women who don’t take the Pill, regardless of what particular nonsense faith they belong to.

See, this is the problem when you allow non-thinking persons to try and dictate the health of our citizenry: their well meaning stupidity notwithstanding, health issues cannot be dictated by people who get their cues from the Bronze Age.

There’s a reason, after all, that Planned Parenthood is fighting so hard to keep Obamacare and its promises of subsidized hormones alive.

Their bottom line depends upon it.

To uninformed Americans, Planned Parenthood is a Henry Ford style abortion factory. Ignore for a moment that abortions are merely a fraction of the services the organization provides: if money is supposed to indicate an organization’s true motivation, where does that leave the Catholic Church in all of this?