Beck wants you to become a Pilgrim

With conservatives still freaking out over the fact their president is still black, you can expect some of the nuttier flavors of the Religious Right to step up their rhetoric. Glenn Beck, straight off his prediction God had promised the White House to a Mormon, has advised his aged listeners that the world will soon end, and their only recourse is to buy plenty of farmland and guns.

Inflation is coming, the fiscal cliff is coming, the dollar fell last night in the news… your health-care costs are going up [lie], your religion is going to come under attack [by reality maybe], gas, coal and energy is going to be more expensive [but please don’t buy a fuel efficient car, that’s un-American]…may I recommend that if you have a chance to buy farmland, you buy farmland… find a place where you are surrounded by like minded people [sounds like a cult]. Get your kids away from schools that are indoctrinating them with socialism [instead of Jesus]. May I highly suggest you get grandfathered in to the second amendment today [i.e. buy the biggest and most dangerous gun you can]. And don’t forget the ammunition.

I expect to see much more of this kind of reaction: conservatives becoming increasingly more isolated with the realization that they are no longer the majority. The solution? Move somewhere where everyone agrees with you and become even more extreme in your views. Sounds like a great plan, Glenn!

Glenn Beck is shockingly ignorant

don’t consider myself an expert on evolution; however, I’ve devoted a considerable amount of time studying the matter, if for no other reason than to try and understand humanity. The answers to some of our most puzzling questions become obvious once you realize we are nothing more than apes that have evolved over millions of years from a common ancestor to other primates. While our chimpanzee cousin’s “evolutionary focus” was more on climbing trees and eating fruit we went a different route, which led to our large brains, our upright posture, and a significant loss of hair.

The evidence of our ancestry is so strong you cannot find a serious scientist who refutes the fact we are, in fact, just another branch of the ape family. Despite all this, scientifically illiterate morons like Glenn Beck continue to refute the obvious. Their arguments are so weak and stupid that attempting to answer them seems like a waste of time:

“I don’t think we came from monkeys. I think that’s ridiculous. I haven’t seen a half monkey / half person yet. Did evolution just stop? Did all of a sudden, there’s no other species that is developing into half-human..”

“Other species developing into half-humans”. What exactly does Beck think evolution is all about? Does he think all species eventually develop into upright primates or something? Even someone vaguely familiar with evolution would never make such an infantile assumption.

Luckily for Glenn he’s not the only moron on the show; his idiot cohost brings up Piltdown man in an attempt to refute the scientific evidence of our ancestry, as though mentioning a hoax which was exposed in the 1950′s somehow means evolution is wrong. These morons don’t understand science is a process, and individual scientists are human beings who make mistakes, and occasionally try to defraud people (yes, sometimes people suck). Luckily, the scientific method demands evidence and applies intense scrutiny to any claim. With this error correcting mechanism built in, it’s usually only a matter of time before hoaxes are exposed.

Think of how science and religion contrast with the simple example of The Shroud of Turin. This pathetic relic has clearly been identified as a 14th century pious hoax (which matches the date of the appearance of this supposed relic), and yet the Catholic Church continues to try and assert it is indeed the cloth that was placed on the body of Jesus when he was buried. They do this because the item serves as pathetic “proof” their God existed, and that’s the level of scrutiny they are willing to apply. That’s the real difference between religion and science; while hard working men and women probe the very fabric of the Universe, pious morons like Glenn Beck  continue to disbelieve the evidence simply to maintain a belief a bearded super being created us in “his” image.

The Good Atheist Podcast: EP 155

On this week’s episode of the Good Atheist Podcast, Ryan and I discuss Stephen Hawking bitch-slapping God with his huge science penis, and we’ll be speculating on the “phenomenon” that is Glenn Beck.

The Good Atheist
The Good Atheist Podcast: EP 155
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Glenn Beck blames gang violence on atheism

In the above video, a young man is tragically beaten and killed. In Beck’s eyes, he sees too few tears in the eyes of witnesses, something he blames on the fact young people are less religious than they used to be. Even Beck admits he has no idea what’s happening in this video, but it certainly doesn’t stop him from having an opinion on the subject. He goes on a long tirade about how the fact people can’t pray in school, and that therefore the sanctity of human life is compromised.

I love how serious he is about this accusation. Ignore the fact it has no basis in reality for a moment; he’s talking to the same demographic that doesn’t mind the death penalty, or thinks that killing abortion doctors isn’t a crime. Belief in God certainly doesn’t make a person respect human life anymore than unbelief does. At the end of the day, are you really sure you want to play that card, Beck? How many staggeringly cruel acts of violence are perpetrated specifically in the name of religion?

It’s also interesting to note that he also ties in Barack Obama in there, as though the President is somehow responsible for this happening. Conservatives can’t stop sucking Reagan’s dick, but as soon as a “colored man” is in the highest office of the land, any positive mention of the guy and they all collectively lose their minds. It’s telling, really.

Glenn Beck is annoying

Glenn Beck needs to stop thinking he’s William Wallace from Braveheart. He always looks like he’s on the edge of tears for absolutely no reason. It must be a sad time to be a Republican if they gravitate towards such a fat and annoying crybaby. Your whinny, desperate speeches only inspire the delusional or stupid, Glenn.