Author Archives: Jacob Fortin

It’s hard to be a bigot these days!

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It must be a tough time for homophobes. It’s become dangerously unpopular to hold ‘controversial’ views on homosexuality these days. The aging baby boomers must be absolutely terrified we’ve all gone insane or something by allowing equal rights to gays and lesbians. Why in their day, you kept those people quiet, afraid, and repressed! If one of your family members was gay, you would keep that shit a secret. If you didn’t know how, well, you could always go learn a thing or two about keeping things suppressed from the Catholic Church.

Fast forward to today’s modern and tolerant society where it’s getting hard for homophobes to get by. Just imagine this British councilor’s surprise when he was suspended from his job for a year after saying that

…homosexuality is a demon which can be driven out. [It’s] a notorious disability and that…modern culture is [trying] to defend these people from any form of discrimination. Hurray for diversity

Pritchard must have lost his fucking mind. He did start crying and quoting the Bible, so presumably he’s not a happy camper about the state of affairs in today’s modern society. In fact, he’s not the only one flipping out about all these new found rights gays seem to be gaining. Even Ireland (where the Catholic church still has the power to suppress information that would identify child molesters in their own organization) has recently granted legal rights to same sex couples this Friday. To make matters worse for bigots, the new Speaker of the House of Commons, John Bercow, is a secularist who is going to amend ‘hate speech’ laws in Britain to include sexual orientation, as well as evict all the Bishops from the House of Lords.

The ones really losing their minds here are conservative Christians around the world. It’s becoming increasingly hard for them to actively discriminate against gays. The UK government has already said adoption agencies are not allowed to deny homosexuals the right to adopt, and as a result, a number of Roman Catholic adoption agencies have severed their ties with the Church. And now they are further marginalizing religion’s role in government. It’s getting to be almost impossible to gay-bash these days!

This whole affair just goes to show how slow and painful change is when you allow religion to be heavily involved in society. Whether it’s a new development in science that they want to suppress or destroy (stem cells, anyone?), or a minority who wants to be treated the same as everyone else, religion is always there to actively discourage progress and change. Are we done with these clowns yet?

Jordanian poet goes to jail for blasphemy

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If you live in a country without bullshit blasphemy laws, consider yourself fortunate. Islam Samhan, a 27 year old Jordanian, is facing up to a year in jail and a 10,000 Jordanian Dinar (14,000 US dollar) fine for his poetry book. The government claims he was blasphemous, but Islam contends the real reason he is being prosecuted is because of his unkind words about Arab rulers. Clearly, these guys don’t see a difference between speaking against God, and speaking against them.

These are what blasphemy laws are intended to do: silence dissenters who disagree with the established social order. Since these governments are essentially theocracies, any political action becomes a threat to the church, and can therefore be punished by blasphemy laws. It transforms what are otherwise political prisoners into religious heretics, effectively silencing dissent, and making their pious population revile these individuals. It’s why we have to fight these and other similar laws (remember the anti-blasphemy laws proposed by some of the countries in the UN?). We cannot allow free speech to be destroyed by these small minded idiots!

Phil Kidd is a “gentleman”

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Have you ever awakened in a cold sweat, terrified a woman’s business suit was the tool of Satan, and society would invariably fall into chaos if we didn’t put our women in line? If you have, then you needn’t worry; you aren’t the only sexist in the world. In fact, you’re part of a special club of ‘gentleman’ that includes this man, Dr. Phil Kidd. He’s an evangelical minister with a prescription for salvation who’s had enough of rebellious women and the pussy whipped men who let them have opinions about things. Can you imagine that?

The entire rant needs to be read, but for you people in a hurry, here is the real juicy stuff from his brilliantly titled article: Hey Lady, Shut Up:

The Bible says everything that has breath has a right to praise the Lord. But there are some times when the Scripture commands women to shut up!

What a sad day, seeing women open the bible and expound the scriptures. Eve, in the Garden of Eden, in a perfect surrounding could not even quote on [sic] verse correct. I sure would not trust a woman to expound truth in this sin cursed mess we live in.

It makes me sick to watch a woman stand on a platform and lead a choir with men in it, or even worse to see a woman lead the whole congregation!

I know what you’re wondering ladies, but I’m sorry to report this stud is married! It seems like the good ones are always taken, am I right? Well, don’t worry about all this relationship trouble you might be having. Phil has some great advice to give you:

So, you good-for-nothing, hen-pecked men that have been laughing your way through this article, you need to get off your lazy back-side and do something for God. Your wife runs the home because you are too sorry to run it yourself Lady, when your sorry husband dies, please marry a man next time.

It’s pretty incredible these sexist dinosaurs are still around, and doubly surprising they are bold enough to quote scripture asking women to shut their big fat mouths. You know, ever since we started giving equal rights to women, something wonderful happened; we stopped being so fucking violent. A peaceful society necessitates women become a fully integrated part of society, enjoying the same rights and privileges men do, and properly expressing their political will. Societies which are exclusively run by men have the worst records in terms of human rights abuses, are usually far more violent, and less stable. Let’s face it guys, if we don’t have women around to talk some sense into us, we go a little crazy. It’s probably the testosterone.

Still, you always have some extreme conservative asshole who can’t stop yelling at us to ‘keep our women in line’, as though somehow their behavior is my responsibility. It isn’t, and I don’t want my mother or my two sisters to live in a world where they are only half citizens who have to be kept ignorant, uneducated, and sequestered. I personally pity any woman directly or indirectly associated with him. If I was a woman in his surroundings, I seriously would have kicked him in the balls for writing that post.

On a different note, have you ever noticed how often women get away with that shit? I bet they plan that stuff ahead of time. Maybe that’s why they always seem to wear pointy shoes around me. I should probably be more careful with what I say…

Men get amputated in Somalia for stealing phones and guns

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Whenever you hear the words ‘Sharia’ and ‘Court’ uttered in the same sentence, you can bet something fucked up is about to happen. In Somalia, a radical Muslim group known as al-Shabaab has seized control over much of southern Somalia, and they have instituted Sharia Law in that region. Yesterday, 300 onlookers, mostly women and children, watched on as 4 men had their right hands and left feet amputated for stealing some phones and guns.

Somalia’s government is rapidly losing ground in the country, and al-Shabaab is poised to continue to gain more control. Their followers are dedicated and hardened combatants, all supremely dedicated to their goal of defeating the ‘enemies of Islam’; anyone, in other words, who doesn’t share their fundamentalist views.

Onlookers watched as the men screamed for help while their limbs were chopped off, and witnesses refused to comment on what happened, presumably too frightened to say anything. The accused had confessed to their crimes, but the fact they had no lawyers or representation makes me think these confessions were probably coerced. Hey, when you’ve already sharpened all your unsanitary knives in preparation for an amputation, you can’t have anyone being found not guilty, can you?

Somalians are accustomed to a much more reasonable and peaceful version of Islam, but it looks like the fundamentalist bullies are trying to turn the country into another radical state. This is the real ‘War on Terror’ here; a country’s population is being held hostage by maniacs who think cutting off a man’s hands for stealing is appropriate punishment. Things in Somalia are going to get worse before they get better.

I love this guy’s arrogance

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Man, I love people who are arrogant and flaunt it. Maybe that’s also why I love Hitchens, I don’t know; it could just be his general attitude. I personally find it delightful watching obviously intelligent people ranting about the stupidity of religious belief. Who doesn’t?

Glenn Beck`s idiotic special on Biblical prophesy

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What was Glenn Beck doing before he started crying like a bitch on national television? Well, he was busy inviting crazy preachers to talk about End Days on CNN. What fun! In this clip, Glenn Beck is asking pastor John Hagee to confirm or deny some of the claims of the return of the 12th Imam, and to try and correlate it with Christian’s favorite fictional character after Jesus: The Anti-Christ. Presumably I think that means they want him to be a Muslim guy..man, they would love that!

Should the burqa be banned?

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France sure thinks so; President Sarkozy is backing moves to make it illegal in his country, and according to this article, Britain should follow suit. Saira Khan is a devoted Muslim woman who says the burqa not a religious tradition, but rather an ultra fundamentalist practice originating in Saudi Arabia that has no place in modern society. She believes these outfits are a type of female oppression, robbing women of their ability to interact with society and alienating them. Even worse, the practice has caused some women to develop rickets (a softening of the bones due to a lack of vitamin D) due to a lack of exposure to sunlight.

Many of my adult British/Muslim friends cover their heads with a headscarf – and I have no problem with that.

The burqa is an entirely different matter. It is an imported Saudi Arabian tradition, and the growing number of women veiling their faces in Britain is a sign of creeping radicalization, which is not just regressive, it is oppressive and downright dangerous.

The burqa is an extreme practice. It is never right for a woman to hide behind a veil and shut herself off from people in the community. But it is particularly wrong in Britain, where it is alien to the mainstream culture for someone to walk around wearing a mask.

I’m normally uncomfortable with the idea of banning anything; it doesn’t really set a precedent I’m too happy about (after all, what’s to prevent people from banning other religious symbols and practices, or even non-religious ones), but in the case of burqas, I can understand why it’s necessary. After all, although I’m sure many Muslims claim the decision to wear them is entirely up to women, we all know the ‘choice’ to do so was never theirs to begin with. The burqa has come to symbolize the fundamental incompatibility of conservative Islam with modern society, and is a repressive tool to control and segregate women.

I think it’s important to mention not all forms of traditional Muslim clothing are being targeted here: just burqas. The custom has no place in a country where women are treated as equal members of society. Banning anything isn’t something we should take lightly, but we cannot allow an obviously sexist and demeaning tradition from taking place on our soil. Being tolerant of religion does not mean we must accept every single tradition and ritual of any religion. We don’t allow many voodoo ceremonies for both health and animal cruelty reasons. Forcing women to completely veil themselves and act in a submissive manner towards men does not reflect the values that define our modern society. There are plenty of places where this sort of thing is allowed; to those who object to the burqa being banned, might I suggest relocating there.

Don’t read this version of “On the Origin of Species”

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Creationism is alive and well in the United States. Despite their laughingly terrible arguments, backers of ‘Intelligent Design’ continue to flood educational institutions with materials they hope will throw doubt on the truth of evolution by means of natural selection. Their latest tactic is this book; a republication of Darwin’s On the Origin of Species with a twist; the introduction is a 50 page attack on Darwin, accusing him of causing the Holocaust, of being a racist (find me one person living in 19th century England who wasn’t), and of even doubting the truth of his own theory. They misquote him at every turn (a tactic Ben Stein used extensively in his terrible movie Expelled: No intelligence allowed), and suggest Darwin wanted to use evolution to justify genocide.  Here are some choice passages:

Do you think that DNA’s amazing structure could have come together by accident? Or does it point to an Intelligent Designer? Even the director of the U.S. National Human Genome Research Institute concluded there is a God based on his study of DNA.

Richard Dawkins, arguably the most famous of atheists, can’t claim the title “atheist”, because he understands that something must have created everything. He said, “Biology is the study of complicated things that give the appearance of having been designed for a purpose.”

Keeping in mind that the most intelligent of human beings can’t create a grain of sand from nothing, do you think that “something” that made everything was intelligent? It obviously is; and if you do believe the “force” that made the flowers, the birds, the trees, the human eye, and the sun, the moon and the stars was intelligent, you then believe that there was an intelligent designer. You have just become an unscientific knuckle-dragger in the eyes of our learning institutions that embrace Darwinism.

Jesus freak extrordinaire Kirk Cameron is the mastermind behind this project. He wants his copy of Origins to be picked up by schools. Personally, I’m sickened by the idea these intellectual midgets would publish one of the most important scientific theories of all time with a 50 page indictment in the front. What a strange schizophrenic message this must seem to children! It’s not enough for these guys to let the material stand on its own right; they have to try to sabotage the learning process in order to force their sky god down our throats.

Hey guys, how would you like it if I started printing Bibles with a disclaimer at the front that said: “Warning, materials covered in this book are of a racist, bigoted and violent nature. It should be kept well out of the reach of children, and people with a history of mental disorder should avoid reading it. The characters depicted are fictional; and any similarity with persons living or deceased is entirely coincidental.” Would you find that offensive? You know what, I have an idea…

Daniel Hauser story has a happy ending

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Remember a few months ago when I reported Colleen Hauser had fled Minnesota after a judge had ordered her son to undergo chemotherapy? You may remember them as the family who refused to use conventional medicine to treat their son’s deadly Hodgkin’s lymphoma, opting instead to follow the ‘teachings’ of a fake Native American religion called ‘Nemenhah’ (you can find out more about them and their founder, a man with a history of fraud, right here). Well, the story kind of fell off the grid (my bad), but I’m happy to report the parents have come to their senses and have agreed to follow the judge’s ruling.

Colleen spent about a week on the run before she was convinced alternative therapies would not do the trick (she was hiding out in California, the capital of New Age). It’s a good thing too; Daniel’s doctor argued the boy needs immediate and aggressive chemo in order to properly fight off his cancer.

It’s nice to know this story has a happy ending, assuming of course he responds well to the chemo, which seems likely. Kind of makes you hopeful other terribly deluded people can come to their sense with enough persuasion. Who says TGA never has any good news?

Two thirds of UK teens don’t believe in God

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It’s becoming increasingly obvious that religious traditions are fading rapidly. The Telegraph reports over two thirds of teenagers in the UK don’t believe in God, and 59% of them think religion has a negative influence on the world.

In a time where kids are exposed to a huge array of information, ideas and opinions, religion is now seen as antiquated, outdated, and incompatible with our modern values. These religious institutions are sometimes hundreds, if not thousands of years old. The fact they no longer represent our social mores in today’s society should surprise no one;  Bronze Age platitudes are ill equipped to help guide us in the Age of Science and Reason.

I think it’s interesting how many kids have a negative opinion of religion these days. It seems like they are rejecting the old values of their parents. It’s become quite clear modern homophobia, bigotry, and xenophobia is largely the result of the divisive nature of religion. In a world as interconnected as ours, there is no place for these sorts of primitive beliefs anymore.

Now, if only the ‘colonies’ can catch up to this irreligious trend, then we’d be in business…

Hitchens: why it’s a good thing God doesn’t exist

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As we continue our coverage of everything Hitchens, I can’t help but notice how passionate he seems to be on this subject. He sometimes gives me the impression he’s half asleep in some lectures, but I have come to believe this may actually be a result of his heavy drinking rather than any lack of energy on his part. Let’s enjoy the man before his liver becomes pickled, shall we?

Woman sets her child on fire in voodoo ritual

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I’ve seen some pretty messed up voodoo rituals in my day. I think probably the most graphic one involved a man, allegedly possessed by the spirit of the dead, who bit off the testicles of a goat. The gonads were spread around for everyone to suck on, until the creature’s throat was cut, with some licking the bloodied knife. Let’s just say I had some trouble keeping my lunch down.

It’s bad enough when these rituals constitute animal cruelty, but this latest story makes this goat stuff pale and seem like child’s play. Marie Lauradin was convinced her daughter Frantzcia was possessed by an evil spirit, and so she decided to douse her daughter in rum, and to burn the demons out. After the Grandmother put Frantzcia out with a bucket of water, they put her to bed, only bringing her to a hospital the next day after another relative begged them to. Frantzcia suffered from second and third degree burns. She will be scarred for the rest of her life, and I can only imagine the pain she must have gone through. I get all teary when I get a little burn on my hand. She has second and third degree burns on 25% of her body!

The mother faces up to 25 years in jail for endangering the welfare of a child, and the grandmother was also charged and faces a possible 7 years. Their version of the story was that she was boiling water and accidentally spilled it on her child when startled. She still has no explanation as to why she waited almost 24 hours before going to the hospital, however. The truth only came to be known when Frantzcia told her foster caregivers what had really happened to her.

I have to wonder how many rebellious or independent daughters have suffered at the hands of their mentally deranged mothers who believe their behavior must be the product of evil forces at work. It’s another example of how dangerous superstitious beliefs can be. It seems burning people alive is a common practice in a number of organized religions. Clearly, this shit has to stop.

I hope both these deranged women get the maximum penalty for their crime, and I hope poor Frantzcia will recover and find a new family that doesn’t think setting people on fire is a good idea. There are still a few sane people in this world, right?

Scientology lays the smack down on members

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According to four former high ranking church members, their leader David Miscavige is a violent bully who randomly and viciously attacks members of his own organization. They claim that on dozens of occasions they witnessed him attacking someone for ‘violations’ ranging from looking at him funny, to not answering questions fast enough. Miscaviage’s huge legal team denies these allegations.

Personally, if this story is true I’m not entirely surprised. I’ve seen the tactics they employ to ‘free’ people of thetans. These often involve a great deal of shaming, screaming, and yelling (where you need to stay absolutely still and show no emotion in the face of such attacks). It’s a form of mental abuse, so news that the physical kind is also prevalent in this organization isn’t very shocking.

This isn’t the first time the church has been accused of abuse, and it certainly won’t be the last. When has an organized religion ever avoided a major scandal? It’s practically a requirement these days. If you aren’t physically abusing kids, advising husbands to beat their wives when they are disobedient, or slapping your staff around, what kind of religion are you?

Richard Dawkins interview with Derren Brown

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I love listening to professional charlatans about how they employ their craft. I can understand why some of them dedicate their lives to educating people about what they do. It’s kind of like the first time your apartment gets robbed; you get a small sense of just how crappy some people are. Derren is extremely popular; last time I posted a video, people were still playing it a year later. So yeah, I love Derren Brown.

I wanted to include all six, but for some strange reason, part 3 can’t be embedded.