Category Archives: Blog

Lamest Anti-Gay ad ever

Posted on by
Reply

It’s getting increasingly difficult to find arguments against marriage equality, and as religious groups get more and more desperate, they continue to try to swing everyone’s opinion back to their homophobic camp.

The latest in this disaster porn is a group called Faith2Action, a typical ‘family values’ group that tries to hide their bigotry under the guise of their religion. They have a ton of videos about how the government is trying to make Christianity illegal by not allowing some of these douchebags to continue to discriminate against same-sex attraction for no other reason than “the Bible wants me to”.

I’ll let the video speak for itself: I don’t think I need to make fun of people this ridiculous, do I?

Homeopathic product recalled for having actual medicine

Posted on by
Reply

I know what you’re thinking: this is some kind of hilarious Onion article. Well, it isn’t. This actually happened. A company in Ferndale, Washington is recalling 56 of its products after FDA tests found traces of penicillin in it:

“FDA has determined that these products have the potential to contain penicillin or derivatives of penicillin, which may be produced during the fermentation process,” the agency said.

So, it turns out that Terra-Medica was accidentally making medicine while manufacturing sugar pills. Sure, it was a total freak accident, but it kind of puts their whole industry in perspective. How many other products, that would otherwise be harmless because of the actual content (a statistically negligible amount of X), have dangerous additives inside simply because the industry is completely unregulated? I bet you never thought consuming a bottle of sugar pills could be dangerous, did you?

Here’s hoping the headline alone will make people realize what a deadly scam fake medicine is; especially when they accidentally put real stuff in there!

Who wants to make 10K from this moron?

Posted on by
Reply

Are you a bored scientist looking to spank a few confused creationists for money? Then why not take up this challenge:

Dr. Joseph Mastropaolo, who says he has set up the contest, the Literal Genesis Trial, in the hope of improving the quality of arguments between creationists and evolutionists, has pledged to put $10,000 of his own money into an escrow account before the debate. His competitor would be expected to do the same. The winner would take the $20,000 balance.

The problem with this minitrial, as you might have already surmised by now, is that a ‘judge’ is supposed to weigh the merits of the argument and rule on whether or not evolution is a scientific theory. If the guy has ever taken antibiotics, then it should be a five minute affair. Fossils, modern genetics, geology, and a host of other disciplines have already proven the reality of evolution to the satisfaction of anyone not already married to a fairy-tale cosmogony. What exactly does this moron thinks constitutes proof, anyway? What kind of vigorous research was he engaged in?

Mastropaolo started making public arguments in favor of creationism about 13 years ago, after reading an article about evolution in the newspaper.

We all know what a great job newspapers do when reporting scientific news. Sounds like this guy probably read a poorly written article about something that (inevitably) conflicted with his “magic man done it” explanation of the world, and he became so passionate about it that he decided to devote his time, energy and money trying to disprove gravity evolution.

Mastropaolo believes that evolution cannot be proved scientifically. “It turns out that there is nothing in the universe [that] is evolving, everything is devolving, everything is going in the opposite direction,” he said.

See, even if that were true (which it isn’t), that would be a mechanism of evolution itself, and not proof of the Bible at all. For this clown to be correct, species would have had to ‘appear’ out of thin air, with no ancestral lines. In fact, it’s not just biological evolution you have to look at: even our own solar system went through its own change, from a giant cloud of gas to a complex solar system with 8 planets, countless moons and an as yet unknown amount of planetoids. According to the Bible, this process was also fairly instantaneous, with light appearing 4 days before the Sun. Are we to expect that he would need to prove his fairy tale bullshit in order to win as well? Somehow, I think not.

This gigantic waste of time – designed once again to try and bring attention to infantile ideas about the mechanism of life – isn’t likely to draw much attention from anyone, nor should it. It’s yet another attempt by creationists to pretend like there is something intellectual about the notion that “God did it”. Maybe we should send Kenneth Miller over there to school their asses? Sure, he has his own share of idiotic beliefs (such as quantum indeterminacy being the mechanism with which God gave the first monkey man a ‘soul’), but there’s no denying the fact he’s got enough experience with creationists that he could knock this one out of the park. What do you say Ken? Want to make a quick ten grand?

For the last time, Atheism is not a religion

Posted on by
Reply

Religious people just don’t get it, do they? They think when we talk about the belief in God we are in fact acknowledging ‘his’ existence, and that our own struggle against the brutalizing influence of religion is itself a kind of faith. It’s enough to make your head want to burst. Especially frustrating are these kind of lazy atheist hit pieces; brave articles that refuse to allow a comment section out of fear that the Internet will rip them a new a-hole.

The latest trashy piece of non-writing is entitled Atheism is a religion, too, a kind of ‘rubber-meets-glue’ trope that has been floating around for quite some time, and shows no sign of letting up.

Atheists are, in fact, some of the most religious people. First, they have a functioning God under whom they are subservient (normally it’s science or rationality, but mainly themselves), and that idea of God informs the way they live and interpret their lives. It informs their biases and determines their values, and governs any sense of morality or ethics they adhere too, or ignore.

I find myself wondering what kind of argument would work on such a confused mind. Should I start by trying to understand if this is an insult or a compliment in their eyes? Isn’t faith a good thing, and if so, why do they ‘accuse’ us of faith if they think that shit is awesome? Should I even bother to explain the difference between a belief supported by evidence and one ‘supported’ by the complete lack of it?

Instead of just ignoring God, or the idea of God, atheist preachers feel somehow compelled to rid the Earth of him; so they argue endlessly that theists can’t prove God exists without confessing that they can’t prove he doesn’t either.

You won’t find a serious atheist who doesn’t wish everyone COULD keep their opinions to themselves, especially when it comes to beliefs about the nature of reality; but the truth is that beliefs – as Sam Harris pointed out – do matter. They influence not just how you see the world and others, but how you treat them as well. When you think the vast majority of the world is doomed to hell-fire, it tends to skew your judgement a little. What I still find fascinating/annoying is just how shocked some religionists are when you tell them their objections on homosexuality, reproductive rights, and women’s role in society is destructive, not just offensive. Aren’t I entitled to my own opinion, they ask? Sure, but only if it means I don’t have to live by it. Such a compromise, however, is not in the cards.

It’s also irritating how religious people have never really understood the idea that anyone making an extraordinary claim is required to provide extraordinary evidence for that claim in the first place. Putting the burden of disproving an idea makes no sense: no one is required to disprove trolls, fairies, or unicorns. They can be dismissed outright even though we can never be 100% sure they don’t exist, because no evidence has ever been presented to prove the idea is true to begin with.

For C.S. Lewis, the iconic British scholar, was himself a convert from the religion of the atheism to the religion of Christianity because, as he later said: “atheism turns out to be too simple.”

The famous Christian philosopher Tertullian made a similar claim; that it was precisely the absurdity of Christianity which led him to believe it must be true. This kind of tortured logic and the desperate need to cling to elaborate myth betrays the poor thinking at work here. Atheism may have seemed too simple for Lewis, but it certainly isn’t a valid argument against it. “Water is wet” may be a simple concept, but it doesn’t mean the physical laws involved aren’t insanely elaborate, complex, and at times, maybe a bit weird. As the mathematician Laplace is said to have answered Napoleon when asked why God was not included in his master work “there is no need for such a hypothesis, Sir.” I echo his statement here.

Marco Rubio doesn’t know what a bigot is

Posted on by
Reply

Lying is thirsty work, don’t you know!

The problem with most bigots is they have no idea what being a bigot entails. When you’re spoon-fed a bunch of bullshit lies your entire life that one can ‘respect’ a human being while still denying them the same rights as you, you’re bound to be confused when everyone is constantly pointing out that the things you say and do are unacceptable. Man, that must get annoying, right?

Take dead-on-arrival presidential ‘candidate’ Marco Rubio’s recent statements to the press expressing his own frustration for being called out as the bigoted piece of shit he is:

I respect people who disagree with me on certain things, but that means they have to respect me too. Just because I believe states should have the right to define marriage in a traditional way does not make me a bigot. Just because we believe that life, all human life, all life, all human life is worthy of protection in every stage of its development doesn’t make you a chauvinist. In fact, the people who are actually close minded in American politics are people who love to preach about the certainty of science in regard to our climate, but ignore the absolute fact that life begins at conception.

There’s a lot to unpack in that one statement: his false equivalency of comparing climate science with anti-choice rhetoric notwithstanding, the notion that denying your fellow human beings the same rights as everyone is a pretty clear sign of bigotry. Just as denying women the right to terminate unwanted pregnancy because of your unscientific view of conception does make you a chauvinist, suddenly claiming climate scientists are close minded and pro-lifers are the open-minded bunch (you know, the same asshats who ‘respectfully’ bomb clinics because they think their imaginary friend wants them to) shows you just how profoundly out of touch with reality this man is. Of course, that’s become the Republican narrative as of late, and these people are still confused as to why the American public is rapidly abandoning them. You know, there was a time when Republicans used to listen to facts, before they started to get too unpleasant…

Rubio can try to use double-speak to his heart’s content: it doesn’t really matter. Just like being over-saturated with ads has made most Americans immune to their influence, the same inoculation is happening against this sort of language tricks. People are becoming tired of the same reality-denying narrative that out of touch, rich white men (and their occasional exotic pets) are trying to shove down our throats. We’re mad as hell, and we’re not going to take it anymore.

New Pope elected and surprise, he’s a bigot

Posted on by
Reply

After the first day of indecision, an old, antiquated bunch of clowns dressed in silly costumes finally elected their new infallible leader: Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio from Argentina. His new name, Francis the First, is in honor of St. Francis of Assisi, the guy who renounced wealth in order to feel more connected to the poor. Now you might think it’s a little ironic that a man sitting on 50 billion dollars and eating on gold plates should give himself such a name, but to be fair, Assisi did start out rich, so I’m sure this ‘humble’ servant of God will too, right?

Unsurprisingly, Cardinal Bergoglio is the kind of Pope you would expect a group of repressed, self-hating homosexuals to elect: despite his statements that gays should be treated with respect, he nevertheless is of the opinion that adoption by gay parents is child abuse. This kind of indefatigable respect notwithstanding, it was a brilliant move by the church to finally elect someone who comes from a country where people actually give a shit about Catholicism, and the Pope in general. Survey after survey in industrialized nations have shown no modern Catholic actually gives a flying fuck what the Pope says, since like every other religious believer, they simply pick and choose which parts of the Bible they like and want to follow.

As for the rest, we just need to wait a little longer until some other fucking scandal breaks and more insane news comes out, say, like the church owning one of Europe’s most prominent (and I’m assuming steamiest) bathhouses.

Kansas City atheists barred St. Patrick’s Day Parade

Posted on by
Reply

Normally when you think of St. Patrick’s Day, images of green beer, girls in t-shirts that say “kiss me, I’m Irish”, and drunken revelers usually pop into your head. Over the decades since we’ve been ‘observing’ these liver destroying traditions, the religious elements of the holiday have generally fallen to the wayside, replaced instead with a party to celebrate the fact that Irish people exist. Hey, I’m part Irish, so I totally approve!

What I don’t approve of, however, is this recent story: an atheist group in Kansas City has been denied permission to participate in the parade for the simple reason that they aren’t religious. Here’s the statement they released to the press:

Kansas City’s parade celebrates the Feast Day of St. Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland, and the Christian teachings and beliefs that he lived and suffered for. The Atheist Coalition’s published mission is to advance godlessness through activism, and its stated intent regarding the 2013 parade was to carry banners with phrases such as “positively godless” and “morals without mythology.” It was with respect for the legacy of St. Patrick that the parade committee turned down the Atheist Coalition’s application to participate in this year’s procession. “

Is this the new excuse to prevent us from participating in public activities? Out of ‘respect’ for dead saints that have almost nothing to do with the modern, secular version of the holiday? If they somehow have a problem with the fact that St. Patrick was a Christian, why are those Christ-killing Jews allowed to come? I would think St. Patrick would have a pretty big problem with those guys. And what about Protestants? Do they count? Should Italians not be allowed in the parade because ancient Romans enslaved the poor guy?

So, despite assurances from organizers that this isn’t a state sponsored religious event, they seem intent on not allowing any ‘godless’ messages to be seen or heard, and that should tell you all you need to know about whether or not it is a religious celebration to these people.

Here’s hoping the kind of national attention they receive teaches them a lesson about messing with atheists. We own the Internet, bitches!

Another stupid Ark being built, this time in Texas

Posted on by
Reply

They say everything is bigger in Texas: this probably also applies to the insanity of the populace there. How else can you explain this church deciding to build their own version of Noah’s Ark at the cost of a cool 5 million bucks?

You might recall that there’s a similar project out of Florida that’s been trying to get funding from Kickstarter. After almost a month, they’ve managed to snag an impressive $520 through 21 backers, which means to accomplish their financial goals, they only need to make about $37,000 a day for the next 40 days. Looks like someone could sure use a miracle!

The obvious popularity of such a project notwithstanding, the Cornerstone Church in San Antonio – the group responsible for this monument to ignorance – is inviting the public to see just how gullible human beings can be. For those parishioners who perhaps felt like their hard-earned money could have been spent doing something useful, here’s a soundbite that’s sure to ease their fears:

If casinos can build opulent buildings to incentivize gamblers to want to come and enjoy their weekend, how then can you justify not building something that would incentivize people to come and hear about the Word of God?” Hagee said. “I don’t have any problem with somebody saying it’s over the top.”

He’s right: there’s nothing I love more than watching ridiculous human beings waste their money on expensive, useless religious propaganda. Who are they trying to impress with this monstrosity anyway? Other Christians who already buy into this bullshit? Certainly it isn’t anyone with half a brain, or with a working knowledge of biological science.

Here’s hoping that the cost of running this thing becomes a boondoggle that ends up bankrupting their dumb asses.

Office of Religious Freedom: non-believers don’t matter

Posted on by
Reply

As much as we Canadians make fun of Americans (yes, I am a Canuck, people), the truth is that our own country isn’t really that much better when it comes to religious interference in government. With the Conservative party in power, it seems as though they are intent on copying the American model: in other words, they wish to turn this country into a mini-sectarian state in order to please their highly religious base. They’ve tried (rather unsuccessfully I might add) to re-open the abortion debate, until most Canadians flipped out and it was quietly dropped.

Still, it doesn’t mean the government is done trying to spend our valuable tax dollars spinning their wheels for the sake of religion. Enter the newly created “Office of Religious Freedom”, a kind of Orwellian sounding institution with a mandate so foggy, no one is actually sure what the fuck it’s actually supposed to do. Everyone seems to agree, however, that atheists are not invited to the freedom party:

A particularly bizarre media preoccupation was what the ORF would do for atheists. It is an interesting intellectual exercise — like how the minister of sport might serve the aggressively sedentary — but rather beside the point when actual mosques are bombed, or when Christians have to hold midnight Mass in the daytime where it is too dangerous to go to Mass after dark. People are being killed for their faith, Canada’s government is sounding the alarm, and the national media is preoccupied with questions only relevant in the highly secular circles that consider religious liberty akin to the freedom to choose one hobby over another.

In other words, he says if you aren’t into God, you can’t be part of his little reindeer games. Never mind that there are at least 7 countries in the world where being an atheist is a crime punishable by death: Mosques are being bombed, so obviously, non-believers don’t matter! It’s this kind of false dichotomy that makes my blood boil. It’s not as though any non-believers are denying the fact sectarian conflicts occur. In fact, we anticipate they will, given that religions are inherently incompatible with one another and tend to violently disagree about which imaginary friend is the real one.

There’s a pretty strange irony here, to say the least. While the ORF claims its aims are to help protect people who are being persecuted for their religious beliefs, no one seems to be motioning the fact that the persecution is being done primarily by OTHER BELIEVERS! It’s kind of an important point when the purpose of your organization is apparently so focused on religion. Hey, you know what helps people have their own beliefs? Not having the fucking state promoting one particular faith over another!

Religion is playing an increasingly important role in foreign affairs, and the defense of religious liberty will be a critical means for Canada to promote both pluralism and democracy abroad.

Even if that statement were true (which it isn’t), that’s not encouraging. Religion and politics are a dangerous mix, which is why we tend to push so hard to have them separated at all costs. You’ll notice countries where this has occurred have happier, safer citizens than in countries with state sanctioned religions.

Congratulations, Conservative Government, on showing us again why you’re so poorly suited to run this country. Now, if only we could convince all the old farts in this country to stop voting for these assholes, then we’d finally get somewhere.

How to annoy your coworkers, Jesus style

Posted on by
Reply

You know what I love? I love it when I’m at the office, and someone vaguely familiar with their religion decides that it’s their duty to try and convert me to whatever bullshit they believe in at the time. Yes, there’s nothing in this world I love more than watching these people squirm when you start asking them questions their priest never really prepared them for. What’s the deal with Jesus and his intense racism? Why did he say he would return before his followers died, only to be a literal no show for over 2000 years?

Of course, most Christians have never met a guy like me. They’re convinced the message of Jesus is so good, that all you need to do is show up with a smile, a Bible, and a friendly “let me tell you about my pal Jesus” and presto, instant Christian.

How else can you explain this rather trite bit of advice on how to witness to coworkers, courtesy of Focus on the Family. The problem is, the act of proselytizing in the age of information is not an easy task. You see, the Internet is filled with annoying things like facts which tend to contradict fairy tales made up by ancient desert nomads.

Let’s examine just how helpful their advice really is, shall we?

1. Believe that God wants to save your co-workers.

In other words, convince yourself that your meddling in other people’s lives is something your imaginary friend wants, no matter how annoyed and angry they might be.

2. Be a good employee.

Does that count not spreading your nonsense bullshit to coworkers who know a lot more about your own stupid religion than you do? Usually, good workers don’t invite conflict by bringing religion in the fucking workplace, but I digress.

3. Think like a missionary.

In other words, be relentless about your message. Even if you’re on vacation, at work, hanging out with friends. Hell, you should even witness to someone peeing next to you in the urinal, because there’s nowhere Christ doesn’t want you to be pimping his totalitarian message, regardless of the general hostility towards it.

4. Fill in the gaps.

That means witnessing to people during what little time they have to take a break and relax from having to listen to annoying people talking to them all day long about shit they don’t really care about.

5. Put the Gospel to work for you.

Do you wonder why you don’t share the Gospel more than you already do? If every word out of your mouth isn’t serving Jesus, what fucking good are you?

6. Don’t forget to actually share the Gospel.

Yeah, don’t forget to read only the parts that you think they will enjoy, like this one from the Gospel of John:

“He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him.”

Who isn’t going to listen to a positive, loving message like that, right?

7. Trust God with the results.

You might get a little discouraged as you continue to alienate your coworkers, but fear not, for you must trust, without any evidence whatsoever, that what you are doing is for their benefit. After all, some guy told you that same shit a long time ago before you really knew any better. These people may not have had the chance to have their minds properly shackled to whatever limited ideology you espouse. Poor them!

That’s it folks; all you need to know to spread ignorance, fear, and submission to authority is contained right there. So, what are you supposed to do when someone throws an uncomfortable fact in your face, like the lack of consistency in the Gospels, the provincialism of their supposedly all powerful deity, or even the fact that their God couldn’t even fucking read or write? Trust that the problem lies with you, and not the fact that a bunch of ignorant sheep fuckers felt it was their divine right to slaughter the indigenous people of ancient Palestine. But hey, the stories make you feel all fuzzy and warm inside, so they must be true, right?

Don’t use Pro-Lifers as surrogate mothers, people!

Posted on by
Reply

Let me give you a nightmare scenario: because of medical complications, you and your spouse decide to employ a surrogate mother to bring your baby to term. After the massive contract fees and the cost of in vitro fertilization, the pregnancy takes and everything is hunky-dory. For a while. Then, in the 2nd trimester, an ultrasound reveals the baby is having serious development problems. The doctor concludes there is a 75% chance the baby could die at an extremely young age, and an almost 100% certainty that if it survives, it will need to be in the hospital most of its life, having dozens of costly surgeries to repair whatever organs came out all fucked up.

Unfortunately for you, your surrogate is a ‘right to lifer’, and despite your insistence that she terminate the pregnancy, she decides instead to bring it to term. The baby is born with all manner of defects and genetic problems, and now, as the biological parents, the responsibility of caring for the child is entirely up to you, not the surrogate. Sounds like a nightmare situation, right?

Well, unfortunately for a couple in Connecticut, that’s exactly what happened. When the doctor discovered their unborn child would be born with a serious medical condition that would affect her internal organs, her brain, and even her physical features, they desperately offered 10K to the surrogate, which she refused, and instead tried to extort them for an extra 5K (the surrogate claims this was a moment of weakness). Realizing the situation was lost, the couple moved to Michigan, since in Connecticut, they would have been legally obliged to take care of the infant. Michigan state, however, considers the surrogate to be the biological parent.

When the baby was born, it was worse than the doctors had feared. Her myriad medical complications, ranging from a brain disorder where the left and right hemisphere failed to split, to having organs in the wrong places, the baby has to be fed via a tube in her stomach. Doctors estimate there’s a 50% chance she will never walk. Her tiny face also has a serious cleft palate, and her ears are deformed and mostly non-functional. The baby, in other words, will spend the rest of her life in the hospital.

In the end, the baby was given to adoptive parents, with the biological parents making the occasional visit. It’s a nightmare scenario brought to you by the self righteous assholes who think every unborn life is somehow more sacred than living, breathing human beings. These people – who live in a bubble of delusion – think their actions are mandated by God, when in fact their sanctimonious, reality-denying ideals imprison the rest of us to a life devoted to the infirm. How else can you explain the relentless efforts of the right to prevent all forms of abortion, even when the life of the child will undoubtedly be more miserable and painful?

You can check out the surrogate’s sanctimonious blog here

‘Don’t Ask Don’t Tell’ should return…this time for religion

Posted on by
Reply

I’ve always found America’s obsession with the military disturbing. First and foremost, it is heavily populated by the poorest, least educated members of society who often have little choice in joining if they hope to have an education, or even a future outside of Walmart. You always hear on TV how much respect they should be given, due to their sacrifice in ‘protecting freedom’. In reality, the military is usually involved in efforts to control strategic resources, and while many of them do make the ultimate sacrifice of their lives, or even their health, as soon as they return home, they are ignored, marginalized, and forced to go back to the job market without the ability to export their new-found skills to the private sector. To make matters even worse, the military is slowly becoming a Fundamentalist stronghold. Ever since 9/11, recruitment efforts have been underway, as well as attempts to marginalize officers that do not fall in line.

According to a terrifying report released by the Center For Inquiry that details the ways America’s military force is slowly being Evangelized, the situation is only getting worse. According to the author of the report, James Parco – a retired Air Force lieutenant colonel, things are looking grim:

If this problem persists,” he continues, “members of the military will continue to face hostility and indoctrination, and the U.S. government will continue to experience public relations problems in future military missions. If it is addressed, the U.S. military could become a neutral and safe space for members of all religious backgrounds, and none at all, and the image of the America, as seen through its military forces abroad, could change from one of Christianity to one of a diverse people united for liberty and justice for all.”

America has an addiction to War. It’s why every struggle, regardless of what it is, will be called a ‘war’ on something: The War on Drugs, the War on Poverty, the War on Terror. All of these are rather telling abstractions that provide a window into America’s soul.

Now the article does make some suggestions for improving the situations, and I’m sure like most recommendations, it will fall to the wayside. The real problem, however, is the fact Americans are crack-addicts when it comes to conflict. How else can you explain the actions of a debt riddled country continuing to spend 700 billion dollars on weapons of war to fight an non-existent enemy? This is the same country which would reduce grants for education, money for food stamps, and welfare for the poor in order to build more cluster-bombs. If that doesn’t give you a clue to how fucked you are, I don’t know what will.

Who wants to fund a monument to ignorance?

Posted on by
Reply

Remember last year when I put up Bible Stories on Kickstarter? I remember being nervous that I would have to live down the embarrassment of failing to attract enough potential buyers for the book. That’s why I tried to come up with a conservative estimate of how many people would buy it. Luckily, it ended up being a huge success (after an initial moment of sheer panic when we moved the campaign to Indiegogo). Unfortunately, funding is proving elusive to these clowns, who decided the best place to seek a million and a half dollars worth of funding for a Biblical themed animal reserve would be online. Called Hidden Ark, the only thing that seems to evade detection is any real interest on the part of the online community, but I digress.

The project – which has already begun – looks like the kind of epic boondoggle that is likely to lead to many bankruptcies, broken dreams, and a gigantic piece of construction slowly rotting in the sun. It could be that their sales pitch, mainly that donating to their stupid cause somehow proves God is real, isn’t striking the right chord online. Let’s face it: the Internet is dominated by non-believers. Sure, religious folks like to post up their garbage, but the problem is their nonsense gets drowned out in the sea of other similar bullshit. How can you tell whether Jesus, Zoroaster, or Buddha are the real deal if each one makes the same baseless claims?

After 2 weeks of solid campaigning, they’ve managed to wrangle an incredible $214 through 14 backers. With only 47 days to go, it means they only need to average around 31K a day in to achieve their goal. So doable! All they need to do is prove the story of Noah’s Ark – a tale ripped from the ancient Assyrians and Sumarians – actually happened, and I’m sure they’ll have no trouble convincing the rest of us the diversity of life on earth was preserved by a 500 year old drunk and his family.

(Update: The campaign ended up only raising 1k of the 2 million they needed)

So close, yet so far away

Posted on by
Reply

Mother Nature can be a cruel, nasty bitch. Hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, earthquakes, volcanoes, asteroids; honestly, I could spend the whole day listing the many ways humans can be crushed, burned, drowned, blown away, or fall to their deaths. When these kinds of senseless tragedies occur (well, senseless to us as natural forces interact), people who still cling to Bronze Age beliefs can often find themselves wondering: if there is a God, what’s the deal with all this horrible shit that happens?

Enter the apologist*. His job is to convince you that your Omniscient deity, the one who supposedly is controlling this thing, isn’t the one who set in motion the long series of events that lead to your loved one’s demise. So, how do you square the round peg of religion? Why, you smash it with the hammer of faith, of course!

In short, it says that God is a god who apparently delights in suffering. It says that God is the sort of god who sends drunk drivers to kill babies, who burns down people’s homes, and afflicts random people with horrendous diseases like cancer.

Regardless of any potential “reason” such a god would choose to does this [sic] things, if indeed God had a hand in intentionally causing them to occur, then that God is not the God of the Bible.

That God is not worthy of worship.

That God is evil.

How is that not the God of the Bible? I’ve read the thing, and if he isn’t sending fire down from the sky to punish exiled Jews for complaining, he’s fucking over the Jews for not following his confusing and contradictory laws. While there are a few passages that allude to him being ‘love’ and other such nonsense, simply reading what the character does throughout the Bible gives one a pretty clear understanding of the kind of deity Yahweh is. This whole ‘God is love’ shit is merely the pressures of modern civility and ethics applied to an ancient death cult.

But there was no grander narrative behind these moments, no deeper meaning to be discovered if we simply read the signs correctly. They happened and there was a reason behind their happening, but that reason was mundane, not divine.

In other words, these things were not part of God’s plan.

Oh, so when shitty things happen, this wasn’t part of God’s plan, but when good things happen, everyone is supposed to fall on their knees and thank this supposed all powerful entity? Here’s the thing about ‘omnipotence’: everything is your plan. The spark that created the universe, the enzymes that formed the first lifeforms, and the actions of his creation would necessarily have to be part of it as well. See, omnipotence is one of those funny words that puts God in a bit of a corner: it implies that everything, both good and bad, are his domain. He’s not struggling, Zoroastrian style, with an equally powerful evil version of himself. No, evil is as much a part of omnipotence as good, and the two cannot be separated.

God’s plan is that one day He will make His dwelling place among His people to dwell with them. They will be His people, and God Himself will be among them and be their God.

So what the fuck is he waiting for if the world is broken and full of suffering? Seems like his followers have been waiting awhile in confused silence while they try to reconcile the cruelty of nature with their dogma of a loving God. Of course, all of this suffering and evil can be easily explained when you aren’t married to a fantasy that requires you to live a life of cognitive dissonance. Here’s an idea for you: there’s no one at the wheel, and there never was.

*(Update: The article no longer exists, and was never archived)

Hurricane Sandy relief to violate Establishment Clause

Posted on by
Reply

It’s no small irony that when Republicans talk about smaller government, this same crippled beast seems to have no problems handing gobs of cash to institutions they have no business helping. Take the recent appropriation of 60 billion dollars for Hurricane Sandy. The Republican controlled House has voted to allow some of the money to be used to rebuild houses of worship, a clear violation of the Establishment Clause of the Constitution.

The Freedom From Religion Foundation is asking their fellow atheists to contact their Senators today to prevent this disaster from becoming a law. Of course, the cynical side of me thinks this is all a giant waste of time, and the quagmire of American politics makes it impossible for rational and helpful legislation to go through, so perhaps the same tactic can be used to stop the government from forking over money that should be spent on rebuilding people’s homes, rather than the places that typically siphon all their fucking money away.

Consider this: while a non-profit can also apply for a grant if their property was damaged, at least these organizations have some degree of accountability. We can see where the money goes. That’s not true of religions. They get a free pass to spend their money any way they want, and trust me when I say there isn’t one of these places that isn’t swimming in corruption. The system practically invites it!