Category Archives: Blog

Desperate Haitians need e-meters, stat!

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I complain about Christian charity organizations all the time, but since most of the population in Haiti actually believes in the same religion (with a few added voodoo rituals), I’m not really worried about their incessant need to proselytize. What I AM concerned about, however, is John Travolta and his merry band of Scientologists making a surprise flight to the devastated country. I guess Haiti is in desperate need of e-meters or something, and the yellow shirted weirdos will be going around giving vitamins and “touch assists” to people in need.

Why don’t you stay out of everyone’s way John? The last thing they need is another religious organization trying to peddle their ridiculous beliefs; they need water, food, and most importantly, money. Instead of spending all that dough to send your thetan peddling zombies to the country, why don’t you write the Red Cross a big fat check and stay the fuck out of Dodge. Of course, I’m forgetting the possibility that perhaps his plane might crash into the Ocean on the way there…a man can dream, can’t he?

American rifle sights: now with 100% more Bible code!

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ABC News recently broke a pretty big story about Trijion, a company that makes optical sights for firearms, and how they’ve been sneaking secret Bible coded references on their gun sights. One of them is II Corinthians 4:6 (abbreviated as 2COR4:6)

“For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.”

The company has no plans to change this crazy habit of theirs, and considering they have a long term, 660 million dollar contract with the government to produce these sights, it looks like unless someone steps in to stop these idiots, countless guns used by both American and Iraqi personnel will have these codes embedded on them. Great fucking idea, right?

Here’s a video where Rachel Maddow lambastes the company, saying their decision to include these Bible verses only strengthens arguments from Muslim insurgents that America is on a “Crusade” against Islam. Considering how delicate the situation is right now, it’s about as wise as pouring gasoline on a blazing fire. The problem is Trijicon can’t help themselves; they love Jesus and his Church, and proselytizing is so important to them that they are willing to put the lives of soldiers in danger. For them, the stakes are as high as it gets: they are trying to save souls, and if that means putting the lives of soldiers at risk as a result, it’s a necessary evil. This isn’t the first controversy regarding the dangerous mix of religion in the military, and you can bet it won’t be the last.

The Pope is a liar

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The Vatican has been considering canonizing Pope Piux XII, and this has created tensions within the Jewish community. You see, back in 1933, the Vatican signed an agreement (called the Reichskonkordat) that officially recognized the Nazi party, effectively legitimizing its anti-Semitic stance. It was the only religious institution to do so, and this fact still haunts the Catholic Church. It’s seen by many as a giant betrayal, and with Benedict now claiming the Vatican “helped Jews in a discreet way“, he’s effectively trying to rewrite history without so much as a shred of proof (the help was so discreet there isn’t a shred of evidence to back it up).

It’s a pretty popular tactic nowadays to just say shit and not have to back it up. Some in the Jewish community are asking the Vatican to make public their records on Pius XII, but of course they’ll do no such thing; why should they? Here is an institution which claims to be infallible, so as far as they are concerned, Popes are always doing the right thing.  Pius’ appeasement of the Nazis, and his failure to denounce the Holocaust is a sore wound that will probably never be healed.

I’m not suggesting the Catholic Church and the Jewish community shouldn’t keep working on improving their relations, but why is this coming at the cost of the truth? Benny can try to bullshit his flock into buying the idea they were “discreetly helping the Jews”, but the rest of us who aren’t blinded by faith goggles can see through the steaming pile of bullshit he’s peddling.

Conservative panties in a twist over Avatar

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It was bound to happen; a number of conservative blogs are already complaining that Avatar is anti-American leftist propaganda, glorifying the Na’vi and showing humans as the bad guys. The main character’s choice to stand by the Na’vi is seen by the right as the ultimate treachery to both God and capitalism (two things that conservatives seem unable to disassociate).

The problem with life on earth is not Capitalism, it is the wickedness of human nature. The cure for this is not found in hugging a tree. The cure is to repent of sin and accept that Jesus Christ paid the price for your forgiveness AND TRANSFORMATION. You can become a new person driven by the Spirit of God to be kind, considerate, honest and loving.

I suppose if you’re the average American conservative, you assume any movie where Americans aren’t blowing shit up “for freedom and Jesus” is obviously unpatriotic. For the right, any criticism of current foreign or domestic policy is unacceptable; America is perfect the way it is, and no one is allowed to change her. It doesn’t matter that the country is effectively broke from having to conduct two wars simultaneously. It’s also apparently inconsequential their myopic financial institution almost brought down the entire world economy with their pursuit of profit; that’s the system we have, and you better put an American flag on your car before everyone thinks you’re a pinko bastard.

How predictable is it that any movie that doesn’t suck Jesus’ holy cock is seen as instantly immoral and liberally biased by the religious right? Will there come a time when we are spared their pointless protestations at the exclusion of their deity from movies? Do they really regard the fictional Na’vi as a threat to their religious order? The religious right in America likes to conflate their religion with American domestic and foreign policy, a practice that has the rest of the world shaking their heads in disbelief. We find this practice both objectionable and deplorable. How can anyone criticize the US if the justification for their actions is shielded in religious zealotry?

Can you all relax and stop thinking everything Hollywood produces is a gigantic anti-Jesus conspiracy? Just enjoy the movie and shut the fuck up already; it’s painful to listen to you whine every time the good guys aren’t “The Marines”.

Does the Pope understand forgiveness?

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Ok, here’s a not so hypothetical situation; pretend that you’re feeling a little bit crazy (possibly due to mental illness), and during Mass at the Vatican you push the Pope down. The Pope then has a meeting with you, tells you all is forgiven, and then proceeds to take you to court. Does that sound like forgiveness to you?

Well, that’s exactly what happened to Susanna Maiolo, who suffers from a mental illness (hey, she’s a Catholic, so that’s already a pretty good start down nutjob lane), and although this was explained to Senator Palpatine Pope Benedict XVI (who supposedly forgave her), it hasn’t stopped his legal department from continuing their case against her.

Perhaps Golem Ratzinger is a little confused as to what forgiveness actually means. Maybe he was just telling her that her soul is forgiven for such a heinous crime (he was totally uninjured, by the way), but that her physical body will still be brought to trial. Don’t you love Christian forgiveness? It’s so beautiful I think I’m going to cry

Try science instead, moron

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I realize the ability to conceive is still very important in many cultures, but this guy is ridiculous; an Indian man cut off his tongue with a razor blade as an offering to his Hindu God, hoping this sacrifice would allow his wife to become pregnant.

Whether or not the man was aware modern science allows potentially infertile couples the opportunity to conceive through artificial insemination or fertility drugs is unknown. One thing is for sure; the only thing he’s managed to do is prove human beings do incredibly dumb things when they’re desperate, including sacrificing body parts in the vain hope their imaginary friends will grant them wishes. Try science next time dude; it’s pretty fucking awesome, and it works.

Islam is a religion of peace, right?

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You can’t make this kind of news up; a Muslim man who has been organizing protests lambasting fundamentalists and accusing them of ruining the religion of Islam recently received a threat on his life. Majed Moughni, an attorney from Dearborn, Michigan, was the main organizer for a rally protesting the actions of Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, the failed “Underwear bomber“. As a result, he now appears to be the target of threats from other Muslims who don’t feel as he does.

During the phone call, the caller spoke in Arabic while quoting a verse from the holy Qur’an that suggests Muslims should not be friends with some Jews and Christians, Moughni said. The caller also used the word, kufar, or nonbeliever, during the conversation to describe Moughni, who is Muslim.

Although I’m sure plenty of Muslims are convinced theirs is a religion of peace, it’s quite obvious to the rest of us this is simply not the case. The radical element of the faith is growing, and anyone with a vendetta against “kufar” (Arabic for unbelievers) can find plenty of justification for violence in the Qur’an. This is the basic problem of all religions; they foster hatred and violence against others through their exclusionary nature. Rather than identifying themselves in the broader human family, religionists believe their convictions about the supernatural separates them from others who don’t share the same views. It’s absolute insanity, and only once we abandon these childish and foolish beliefs will we finally mature as a species.

Stephen Baldwin continues to entertain

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I’ll give him this: Stephen is willing to stand up for his belief in God, even if the life of his child were at risk. His presence on Big Brother is a goldmine of insanity so far, and it’s only getting better. He recently told one of his roommates that if a gun wielding maniac threatened to kill his daughter with a machine gun, he would force her to not renounce Jesus even if it meant saving her life.

I can’t even imagine a situation where this would ever happen, and I certainly hope no one tries to test Stephen on this issue. It just reminds me how fucked up people’s priorities are. I don’t care how much you love the invisible man in the fucking sky; don’t put your faith before your own children. Baldwin naively believes he would see his daughter up in Heaven, but if he could break out of the fog of faith he’s in for a second, he’d realize “magical sky playland” is merely the invention of clever people trying to comfort scared monkeys who contemplate their own death. Life is far more cruel than we can imagine, and there’s no reward after you die. You just need to deal with that shit and make the most of your time here. I choose not to spend it on one bended knee, and it’s fucking fantastic.

World Vision sucks

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Here’s an interesting article calling on President Obama to revise the terms of funding for World Vision, the largest Christian charity in the world, for its failure to abide by the First Amendment (that pesky separation of church and state portion of your Constitution). You see, since they receive approximately 250 million dollars from federal monies, the organization would technically be required to allow non-Christians the opportunity to work for them, especially when they fail to hire qualified persons due to this idiotic religious restriction.

Their first mission is to promote Christianity, and charitable work is only their secondary mandate. I’m not saying they don’t do good work, but a significant portion of their efforts is devoted to teaching people a dead 2000 year old Jew was a God, and the care they provide can often seem like extortion (tell me you love Jesus and I’ll give you fresh water!). If their religion is the only truth, why are they so scared to allow people of other faiths to work with them? Seems pretty cowardly to me.

Imagine for a moment a non-religious organization was only hiring unbelievers, and refused any qualified persons of faith; everyone would fucking lose their minds over that shit. The most frustrating part of this is by limiting their hiring policy, it’s sometimes impossible for them to find qualified individuals to help out, and it’s the people they are trying to help who end up suffering as a result (suffering is a Christian virtue, so I’m sure no one is losing sleep over it). Don’t you just love how religion poisons everything?

Witch doctors make me sick

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If you live in a poor country and have no skills whatsoever, you should consider becoming a witch doctor. Rather than contribute something to society, which takes time and effort, you’ll enjoy the benefits of making shit up and still get paid. It’s like being a priest without a weighty institution holding you down; you get to be your own boss, and you set your own rules (sweet, eh?).

Of course, if you’re predisposed towards empathy or hate the idea of misleading your fellow man for profit, this job might not be for you. It takes some brass cojones to pull some of this shit off; just look at the story of this couple, who were told by a local witch doctor that by sacrificing their 3 month old daughter, they would suddenly become very wealthy. If you’re unfortunate enough to have a conscience, you should probably consider another line of work.

If we can accept the fact we are all simply naked apes with underdeveloped brains, it’s easy to accept how fantastically stupid we are sometimes. Still, although people do some tremendously dumb things pretty damn often, it would probably not be so bad if we stopped listening to fuckfaces who are quite literally experts in nonsense.

Another death due to “Faith Healing”

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Faith Healing is an oxymoron; you might as well combine other contradictory words together for fun, like “tall midget” or “logical religion”. To heal someone, you actually need to do something; anything really other than praying to your invisible friend. If I told you my kid was really sick and my imaginary buddy was her only doctor, you’d toss me in jail and take my child away from me forever. Unfortunately, because a majority of the population actually believes in the existence of this imaginary man, no one stopped Jeff and Marci Beagley when they refused to treat their 16 year old son’s urinary tract infection. He died of this extremely treatable condition.

The Beagleys are members of the “Followers of Christ Church”, and if that name sounds familiar to you, it should. Remember Ava Worthington, the 15 month old baby girl that died choking on a common cyst? Her parents were also members of this wackjob church.

Can these morons not see the writing on the wall? So far their God is 0-2. Considering the Worthingtons got off scot-free, I’m not very hopeful that these neglectful idiots will face any jail time for failing to properly care for their son. For fuck’s sake, it’s not like these kids are dying of mysterious and untreatable diseases; they’re letting their own children die from conditions that could be cured in an afternoon!

Even 2000 years ago people were trying to find cures for diseases. They knew better back than to wait for their gods to heal them. I think around the time of the Black Plague (which killed roughly 1/3 of the population), everyone realized there really isn’t anyone looking out for us, and when it comes to our health, we’re on our own. Remember stupid shit like bloodletting (the same thing that killed your beloved George Washington)? We got it wrong for a while there, but since then we’ve invented a little thing called science, and it’s been pretty fucking sweet. It’s a lot more effective than talking to yourself, and better yet, your kids won’t die if you take advantage of it.

Malaysian Muslims attack Christians for saying “Allah”

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You know what I love about atheism? We don’t confer words with special powers. This gives us an advantage; you won’t see angry atheists taking to the streets because the word “evolution” is being misused (even though we might get tempted when jackasses like Kirk Cameron spew their anti-evolutionary nonsense around), and when’s the last time an atheist firebombed a building to punish the sacrilegious use of a beloved name? Never. The same can’t be said of the religious, and the latest story of insanity comes all the way from Malaysia, where Muslims are going ape-shit after their own courts respected the rights of Christians to use the word “Allah” in reference to their own God.

Now, because Allah is Arabic for God, that should have been the end of any dispute, but because of the tendency of Muslims to lose their minds over every little detail, angry men with very brain matter have begun firebombing churches in retaliation for this new found freedom. I’m no friend of Christianity, but the violent actions over use of the word “God” is completely unreasonable. It just goes to show how utterly incompatible religions are with a free society; the fact Malaysia can barely contain the violence of their own citizens over the use of a sacred word makes you wonder just how far some people will take their own superstitious and ridiculous beliefs.

Can you all go find a fucking cave in the the middle of nowhere to live in and leave the rest of us civilized people alone please?

Uganda is messed up

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Do you have annoying friends who try to argue there’s no harm in superstitious beliefs? If they have kids, you may want to send them to this article on BBCNews detailing how human sacrifices, particularly of young children, are on the increase. As prosperity increases in Uganda, witch doctors are making a killing (pun intended) from gullible idiots who hope to increase their own fortune with some black magic.

There’s a whole racket of witch doctors, and as more money flows into their coffers, desperate people are kidnapping kids to have them killed in elaborate rituals. One former witch doctor claimed to have sacrificed over 70 people (including his own son), although he now works to persuade others to stop this cruel and barbaric practice. I guess he’s too important to the movement to jail, which only shows how seriously messed up this whole situation is.

We live in a privileged time in history; such primitive and dangerous superstitions cause many of us to feel shame and disgust. Sadly, this cannot be said for everyone. Though not all superstitions are as deadly, our failure to defend the virtues of skepticism and scientific inquiry in Africa (a continent saturated by religiosity) has made this region a terrible and frightening place to live.

Surprise: Christians feel persecuted

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The Christian Anti-Defamation League has just released their “Top 10 Instances of Christian Bashing” for 2009, and as you’ll see, most of them are centered around homosexuality:

10. Pro-life Pastor Reverend Walter Hoye of Oakland, CA was jailed for exercising peaceful, pro-life speech.

9. Rev. Fred Winters was murdered while preaching in his pulpit in Maryville, Illinois.

8. HBO’s program “Curb Your Enthusiasm” aired an episode where the main actor urinates on painting of Jesus. When confronted HBO would not apologize.

7. The overt homosexual participation in Obama’s presidential inaugural events by “Bishop” Vickie Eugene Robinson, the Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington D. C., and a homosexual marching band.

6. Police called to East Jessamine Middle School in Lexington, Kentucky to stop 8th graders from praying during their lunch break for a student whose mother was tragically killed.

5. Pro-life activist Jim Pullion was murdered in front of his granddaughter’s high school for showing the truth about abortion.

4. An activist judge ordered a home school mom in New Hampshire to stop home schooling her daughter because the little girl “reflected too strongly” her mother’s Christian faith.

3. The Federal Department of Homeland Security issued a report entitled “Rightwing Extremism: Current Economic and Political Climate” that labeled conservative Christians extremists and potential terrorists.

2. President Obama’s appointment of radical anti-Christians like homosexual activist Kevin Jennings as the “safe school czar;” pro-abortion advocate Kathleen Seblius made Secretary of Human and Health Services, and Chai Feldblum, pro-homosexual and anti-religious liberty judge nominated for Equal Employment Opportunity Commission.

1. The Federal Hate Crimes Bill that attacks religious liberty and freedom of speech. For the first time in our history ministers are vulnerable to investigation and prosecution for telling the truth about homosexuality.

Classically Liberal does a great job of boiling down every single point to show how none of these are the result of any specific anger or hatred against Christianity. Suffice it to say Christians have it pretty damn good, and this list is probably the weakest shit I’ve ever seen. It just confirms my beliefs that Christians are a bunch of fucking crybabies who can’t stand the idea of not being “in charge” anymore. Grow a pair, guys.

(Update: The organization does not seem to have maintained their site)

Sam Harris spanks Karen Armstrong

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Religious apologists have a powerful ally in Karen Armstrong. If you recall some of the articles I’ve written about her, Karen is the founder of Charter for Compassion, a rather naïve attempt to create a dialog between people of various faiths.

The principle of compassion lies at the heart of all religious, ethical and spiritual traditions, calling us always to treat all others as we wish to be treated ourselves.

Karen is a smart woman, but this statement is both false and misleading; compassion may occasionally be part of a religious institution, but it certainly is not its heart. If it was, the Crusades, the Inquisitions, and the modern Jihadist movement would never have been possible. How can a religion be based on compassion when it’s so violently opposed to any foreign system of belief?

Karen has often accused the “new atheist” of not knowing enough about religion, a statement I find both insulting and ludicrous (I would wager Christopher Hitchens knows more about Christianity than most Bishops). Sam Harris agrees with me, and he’s written a short article deriding Karen’s foolish opinion that all atheists need is to do is study a little bit more religion to see how compassionate it is. Here’s an excerpt:

And how could we have been so foolish as to connect the apparently inexhaustible supply of martyrs in the Muslim world to the Islamic doctrine of martyrdom? In my own defense, let me say that I do get spooked whenever Western Muslims advocate the murder of apostates (as 36 percent of Muslim young adults do in Britain). But I now know that these freedom-loving people just “want to see God reflected more clearly in public life.”