I feel like this painting is like one of those hilarious “spot the fallacy” kind of games, so I thought it might be fun to try and point out as many hilarious flaws present in this shitty painting. Feel free to add to the list in the comments:

#1. Jesus did not invent the Constitution. It’s no small irony that most of the Founding Fathers were deists.
#2. Supreme Court Judges are apparently crybabies.
#3. The painter has a huge boner for soldiers. There are over 8 different types of military personnel.
#4. Ronald Regan gets more face time than the majority of the founding fathers.
#5. They included Thomas Paine in there, despite the fact that he wrote a book destroying Christianity.
#6. No visible signs of slavery or racism here. All the black people look pretty happy about the fact that these same dutiful Christians enslaved them for a few hundred years, all inspired by the Bible!
#7. Satan is hanging out with the University Professor, “Mr. Hollywood”, the Liberal Media, and Lawyers (ok, that one is more fair). Also, Alexander Hamilton appears to be the only founding father to spot Satan, and he looks pretty calm about the whole thing.
#8. The only visible immigrant (Chinese perhaps) is cowering before the shiny head of Jesus
#9. Even a little kid can see that Jesus’ name does not appear in the Constitution, nor is his signature there.

Man, people get gushy when kids are involved. It seems as though the mere sight of these little creatures is enough to send us into irrational fits. How else can you explain this ridiculous article which claims there are no atheists in birthing centers. The author, Peter Heck, is your run of the mill conservative who believes the usual “America is a Christian nation” rhetoric that is so popular nowadays.

Now Peter seems to me to be a kind of educated idiot; a person who devotes all of his time and energy trying in vain to defend ideas and opinions that have no basis in reality. His article is the standard “life is so amazing it must be designed by God” fare, and he isn’t saying anything new in his shitty article.

The reason I thought it was so hilarious is he’s quite obviously wrong; there are plenty of atheists in birthing centers. If he bothered to talk to a few of them, he would discover there is no need to believe in a God to be in awe over the whole process. I’m glad Peter is so happy to have kids, but it certainly doesn’t mean his ideological convictions are correct.

Ok, the title of my article is a little inflammatory, but how else can you describe a concentrated effort on the part of the Illinois Family Institute to get Friendly Atheist Hemant Mehta fired from his job as a high school math teacher? Sounds like an attack to me.

IFL director Laurie Higgins is on a crusade to get the school faculty to punish him for writing an atheist blog on his free time, even though it plays no part in his teaching life. I won’t pretend to know all the details (go to his site for that), but I thought it might be fun to put up some choice quotes from the whole affair:

…even if Mr. Mehta does not view his math classes as opportunities to proselytize, there still remains the fact that he is a role model and he regularly engages in very public discourse on very controversial topics. For many parents, views on homosexuality and belief in God are two of life’s most important issues — issues that are critical to both civilized and eternal life.

I personally think the elimination of hunger and suffering in the world are more important issues, but what do I know, I’m just a godless heathen! Also, if that statement wasn’t ignorant enough for you, here is a classic one that should be put on a trophy for “worst analogy ever made by a retarded Christian”

Many parents would recoil at having their children spend a school year under the tutelage of a teacher — particularly a charismatic teacher — who in his or her free time blogs favorably about racism and travels the length and breadth of the country preaching racism. Similarly, some parents may recoil at having their children spend a year under the tutelage of a teacher who spends his free time blogging favorably about atheism and homosexuality and traveling the length and breadth of the country preaching favorably about atheism.

So, let me get this straight: Hemant’s blogging on issues of gay rights and atheism is racist? This from a woman who has compared homosexuals to Nazis? Do these morons ever listen to the delicious irony that sometimes spills out of their ignorant mouths? If it’s any comfort Hemant, she did call you charismatic at least…

Here’s an interesting new little “movement” that might interest some of you guys. It’s called the “Free Money Movement“, which admittedly is a little less awesome than the name suggests. The idea is to cross out the words “in God We Trust” from all US currency as an act of civil disobedience. As many of you may already know, the addition of this phrase is a relatively new phenomenon; Congress only made the motto “official” in 1956. It’s clearly a violation of the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment, but the Supreme Court in their infinite wisdom, declared Government recognition of God does not constitute the establishment of a state church. Right, and including it in the pledge of allegiance must also not violate the establishment clause, right?

It’s supposed to be a federal offense to deface money, but from everything I’ve read, no one has ever been arrested for this act of defiance (presumably because of the degree of press it would generate). The debate about the use of God on American Currency needs be re-opened. For a country that prides itself on the separation of church and state, this motto is an insult to your Constitution, to your Founding Fathers, and is generally an embarrassment. There might be more important issues to tackle, but I’m always up for a little social upheaval. Bring on the Sharpies, people!

I’ve always liked Jimmy Carter. Maybe it’s his ‘Habitat for Humanity’ project which I find refreshing and practical. Maybe it’s his commitment to his own code of ethics. It could also be the fact he was one of the few presidents who actually thought weed should not be illegal. We may not agree on the subject of religion, but one thing is for sure: Jimmy is nobody’s bitch.

Recently, he’s left the Southern Baptist Church, an organization he’d been a part of for over 60 years. The reason? Well, old Jimmy here felt the rampant sexism and misogyny of the church was simply too much:

At its most repugnant, the belief that women must be subjugated to the wishes of men excuses slavery, violence, forced prostitution, genital mutilation and national laws that omit rape as a crime. But it also costs many millions of girls and women control over their own bodies and lives, and continues to deny them fair access to education, health, employment and influence within their own communities.

I hope this will encourage others to leave institutions which they find morally reprehensible. I don’t care how nice the individuals within the organization are; if they believe in things which run contrary to your own ethical code of conduct, it’s time to leave. Case closed.

Now, if we can all convince Jimmy this sexism is itself an integral part of Christianity (after all, the Baptists have plenty of Biblical passages to support their conclusions), maybe Jimmy and I can finally see eye to eye on the topic of God…

According to a report by the Center for Disease Control, teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases rose during the Bush years, a direct consequence of their policy of ‘abstinence teaching’. Anyone who has seriously studied the issue of teen sex knows abstinence is about as effective as cold showers. And yet, I’m sure that as we speak, the religious right thinks the increase is actually proof MORE abstinence teaching is needed. This is the definition of insanity; doing the same thing and expecting different results.

What is sad about all this are the adults who were in charge of protecting American teens have utterly failed to do so. They were so busy trying to push their religious agenda that they perpetually refused to accept the reality of the situation: if you want to lower pregnancy and STI rates, you need to teach kids about sex. This is the same group of people who want to make abortions illegal. The irony here is if they simply gave young people better information on protection rather than rely on Biblical literalism, there would be fewer teen pregnancies, and therefore fewer abortions. It really is that simple.

I will never get over the fact human beings worship inanimate objects. Here is a bunch of sad idiots who think a tree stump is an apparition of the Virgin Mary. You can see from this video how impressed everyone is by what is obviously just a fucking tree stump.

How sad that we live in a world where we know why people have a tendency to see shapes and patterns in things (it’s called pareidolia), and yet we can’t seem to convince the deluded masses that a barely recognizable face-like pattern in a tree is anything other than a ‘divine miracle’.

I can only weep for humanity as we continue to look so goddamn foolish. Has no one there pointed out the fact this is just a stupid tree stump that they are worshiping? Even their own church has the good sense to be skeptical about it.