Author Archives: Jacob Fortin

Don’t use Pro-Lifers as surrogate mothers, people!

Posted on by
Reply

Let me give you a nightmare scenario: because of medical complications, you and your spouse decide to employ a surrogate mother to bring your baby to term. After the massive contract fees and the cost of in vitro fertilization, the pregnancy takes and everything is hunky-dory. For a while. Then, in the 2nd trimester, an ultrasound reveals the baby is having serious development problems. The doctor concludes there is a 75% chance the baby could die at an extremely young age, and an almost 100% certainty that if it survives, it will need to be in the hospital most of its life, having dozens of costly surgeries to repair whatever organs came out all fucked up.

Unfortunately for you, your surrogate is a ‘right to lifer’, and despite your insistence that she terminate the pregnancy, she decides instead to bring it to term. The baby is born with all manner of defects and genetic problems, and now, as the biological parents, the responsibility of caring for the child is entirely up to you, not the surrogate. Sounds like a nightmare situation, right?

Well, unfortunately for a couple in Connecticut, that’s exactly what happened. When the doctor discovered their unborn child would be born with a serious medical condition that would affect her internal organs, her brain, and even her physical features, they desperately offered 10K to the surrogate, which she refused, and instead tried to extort them for an extra 5K (the surrogate claims this was a moment of weakness). Realizing the situation was lost, the couple moved to Michigan, since in Connecticut, they would have been legally obliged to take care of the infant. Michigan state, however, considers the surrogate to be the biological parent.

When the baby was born, it was worse than the doctors had feared. Her myriad medical complications, ranging from a brain disorder where the left and right hemisphere failed to split, to having organs in the wrong places, the baby has to be fed via a tube in her stomach. Doctors estimate there’s a 50% chance she will never walk. Her tiny face also has a serious cleft palate, and her ears are deformed and mostly non-functional. The baby, in other words, will spend the rest of her life in the hospital.

In the end, the baby was given to adoptive parents, with the biological parents making the occasional visit. It’s a nightmare scenario brought to you by the self righteous assholes who think every unborn life is somehow more sacred than living, breathing human beings. These people – who live in a bubble of delusion – think their actions are mandated by God, when in fact their sanctimonious, reality-denying ideals imprison the rest of us to a life devoted to the infirm. How else can you explain the relentless efforts of the right to prevent all forms of abortion, even when the life of the child will undoubtedly be more miserable and painful?

You can check out the surrogate’s sanctimonious blog here

‘Don’t Ask Don’t Tell’ should return…this time for religion

Posted on by
Reply

I’ve always found America’s obsession with the military disturbing. First and foremost, it is heavily populated by the poorest, least educated members of society who often have little choice in joining if they hope to have an education, or even a future outside of Walmart. You always hear on TV how much respect they should be given, due to their sacrifice in ‘protecting freedom’. In reality, the military is usually involved in efforts to control strategic resources, and while many of them do make the ultimate sacrifice of their lives, or even their health, as soon as they return home, they are ignored, marginalized, and forced to go back to the job market without the ability to export their new-found skills to the private sector. To make matters even worse, the military is slowly becoming a Fundamentalist stronghold. Ever since 9/11, recruitment efforts have been underway, as well as attempts to marginalize officers that do not fall in line.

According to a terrifying report released by the Center For Inquiry that details the ways America’s military force is slowly being Evangelized, the situation is only getting worse. According to the author of the report, James Parco – a retired Air Force lieutenant colonel, things are looking grim:

If this problem persists,” he continues, “members of the military will continue to face hostility and indoctrination, and the U.S. government will continue to experience public relations problems in future military missions. If it is addressed, the U.S. military could become a neutral and safe space for members of all religious backgrounds, and none at all, and the image of the America, as seen through its military forces abroad, could change from one of Christianity to one of a diverse people united for liberty and justice for all.”

America has an addiction to War. It’s why every struggle, regardless of what it is, will be called a ‘war’ on something: The War on Drugs, the War on Poverty, the War on Terror. All of these are rather telling abstractions that provide a window into America’s soul.

Now the article does make some suggestions for improving the situations, and I’m sure like most recommendations, it will fall to the wayside. The real problem, however, is the fact Americans are crack-addicts when it comes to conflict. How else can you explain the actions of a debt riddled country continuing to spend 700 billion dollars on weapons of war to fight an non-existent enemy? This is the same country which would reduce grants for education, money for food stamps, and welfare for the poor in order to build more cluster-bombs. If that doesn’t give you a clue to how fucked you are, I don’t know what will.

Who wants to fund a monument to ignorance?

Posted on by
Reply

Remember last year when I put up Bible Stories on Kickstarter? I remember being nervous that I would have to live down the embarrassment of failing to attract enough potential buyers for the book. That’s why I tried to come up with a conservative estimate of how many people would buy it. Luckily, it ended up being a huge success (after an initial moment of sheer panic when we moved the campaign to Indiegogo). Unfortunately, funding is proving elusive to these clowns, who decided the best place to seek a million and a half dollars worth of funding for a Biblical themed animal reserve would be online. Called Hidden Ark, the only thing that seems to evade detection is any real interest on the part of the online community, but I digress.

The project – which has already begun – looks like the kind of epic boondoggle that is likely to lead to many bankruptcies, broken dreams, and a gigantic piece of construction slowly rotting in the sun. It could be that their sales pitch, mainly that donating to their stupid cause somehow proves God is real, isn’t striking the right chord online. Let’s face it: the Internet is dominated by non-believers. Sure, religious folks like to post up their garbage, but the problem is their nonsense gets drowned out in the sea of other similar bullshit. How can you tell whether Jesus, Zoroaster, or Buddha are the real deal if each one makes the same baseless claims?

After 2 weeks of solid campaigning, they’ve managed to wrangle an incredible $214 through 14 backers. With only 47 days to go, it means they only need to average around 31K a day in to achieve their goal. So doable! All they need to do is prove the story of Noah’s Ark – a tale ripped from the ancient Assyrians and Sumarians – actually happened, and I’m sure they’ll have no trouble convincing the rest of us the diversity of life on earth was preserved by a 500 year old drunk and his family.

(Update: The campaign ended up only raising 1k of the 2 million they needed)

So close, yet so far away

Posted on by
Reply

Mother Nature can be a cruel, nasty bitch. Hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, earthquakes, volcanoes, asteroids; honestly, I could spend the whole day listing the many ways humans can be crushed, burned, drowned, blown away, or fall to their deaths. When these kinds of senseless tragedies occur (well, senseless to us as natural forces interact), people who still cling to Bronze Age beliefs can often find themselves wondering: if there is a God, what’s the deal with all this horrible shit that happens?

Enter the apologist*. His job is to convince you that your Omniscient deity, the one who supposedly is controlling this thing, isn’t the one who set in motion the long series of events that lead to your loved one’s demise. So, how do you square the round peg of religion? Why, you smash it with the hammer of faith, of course!

In short, it says that God is a god who apparently delights in suffering. It says that God is the sort of god who sends drunk drivers to kill babies, who burns down people’s homes, and afflicts random people with horrendous diseases like cancer.

Regardless of any potential “reason” such a god would choose to does this [sic] things, if indeed God had a hand in intentionally causing them to occur, then that God is not the God of the Bible.

That God is not worthy of worship.

That God is evil.

How is that not the God of the Bible? I’ve read the thing, and if he isn’t sending fire down from the sky to punish exiled Jews for complaining, he’s fucking over the Jews for not following his confusing and contradictory laws. While there are a few passages that allude to him being ‘love’ and other such nonsense, simply reading what the character does throughout the Bible gives one a pretty clear understanding of the kind of deity Yahweh is. This whole ‘God is love’ shit is merely the pressures of modern civility and ethics applied to an ancient death cult.

But there was no grander narrative behind these moments, no deeper meaning to be discovered if we simply read the signs correctly. They happened and there was a reason behind their happening, but that reason was mundane, not divine.

In other words, these things were not part of God’s plan.

Oh, so when shitty things happen, this wasn’t part of God’s plan, but when good things happen, everyone is supposed to fall on their knees and thank this supposed all powerful entity? Here’s the thing about ‘omnipotence’: everything is your plan. The spark that created the universe, the enzymes that formed the first lifeforms, and the actions of his creation would necessarily have to be part of it as well. See, omnipotence is one of those funny words that puts God in a bit of a corner: it implies that everything, both good and bad, are his domain. He’s not struggling, Zoroastrian style, with an equally powerful evil version of himself. No, evil is as much a part of omnipotence as good, and the two cannot be separated.

God’s plan is that one day He will make His dwelling place among His people to dwell with them. They will be His people, and God Himself will be among them and be their God.

So what the fuck is he waiting for if the world is broken and full of suffering? Seems like his followers have been waiting awhile in confused silence while they try to reconcile the cruelty of nature with their dogma of a loving God. Of course, all of this suffering and evil can be easily explained when you aren’t married to a fantasy that requires you to live a life of cognitive dissonance. Here’s an idea for you: there’s no one at the wheel, and there never was.

*(Update: The article no longer exists, and was never archived)

Neil deGrasse Tyson on Intelligent Design

Posted on by
Reply

Here’s an old presentation from Neil some of you may not have seen yet. In the talk, Neil discusses the history of Intelligent Design, and why it still persists in society. While I’ve always liked Neil, and I’m fascinated by his idea that we should carefully study why some scientists are religious, I think at the end of the day, the answer will be quite dull and not very informative: mainly that when you’re convinced from a young age God is real, it’s not easy to let the idea go.

As for the rest of his treatise – that scientific revolutions are stopped dead in their tracks whenever religion comes around – it makes me wonder why he hasn’t taken a stronger stance AGAINST religion. He’s repeatedly refused to identify himself as an atheist, without realizing that coming out of the ‘closet’ would have strong reverberations in the intellectual scene in the country. It’s a shame, especially when he seems to understand just how dangerous religions are to science.

Hurricane Sandy relief to violate Establishment Clause

Posted on by
Reply

It’s no small irony that when Republicans talk about smaller government, this same crippled beast seems to have no problems handing gobs of cash to institutions they have no business helping. Take the recent appropriation of 60 billion dollars for Hurricane Sandy. The Republican controlled House has voted to allow some of the money to be used to rebuild houses of worship, a clear violation of the Establishment Clause of the Constitution.

The Freedom From Religion Foundation is asking their fellow atheists to contact their Senators today to prevent this disaster from becoming a law. Of course, the cynical side of me thinks this is all a giant waste of time, and the quagmire of American politics makes it impossible for rational and helpful legislation to go through, so perhaps the same tactic can be used to stop the government from forking over money that should be spent on rebuilding people’s homes, rather than the places that typically siphon all their fucking money away.

Consider this: while a non-profit can also apply for a grant if their property was damaged, at least these organizations have some degree of accountability. We can see where the money goes. That’s not true of religions. They get a free pass to spend their money any way they want, and trust me when I say there isn’t one of these places that isn’t swimming in corruption. The system practically invites it!

Is this what getting owned by a Muslim looks like?

Posted on by
1

This video, hilariously titled “Dan Barker gets OWNED by Muslim Hamza Tzortzis”, showcases perfectly the kind of pathetic, nonsense arguments you get into when talking to these apologists. Tellingly, the video does not offer a chance for Barker to reply, so I thought I might do him that solid. Let’s take a look at his argument, shall we?

Asinine Assumption #1: We know God exists, so arguments for God isn’t “God in the Gaps”

Buying into a belief system doesn’t make it true. For something to be “proven”, it needs to pass a number of rigorous tests. The first, and most important, is falsifiability: the ability for an idea to be disproved. This is perhaps the most difficult concept for god-pimps like Hamza to understand. In their limited world view, they simply accept, with no real evidence, that their all powerful creator simply exists and his very nature defies all attempts to categorize him. Such a conceit must be rejected immediately without effort: extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence, and a book inspired by an illiterate child rapist fails to impress.

Asinine Assumption #2: The specific wording of your God matters

When this guy starts blabbing on about how the word ‘the’ in ‘the merciful’ must inherently mean that God is superior to human beings, I just have to shake my head in profound disbelief at the childish nature of this kind of thinking. What the fuck does that prove?

Asinine Assumption #3: Islam invites differences of opinions, considers these a ‘mercy’

Either he’s deliberately being deceitful, or he’s decided to ignore the fact that Islam is still fighting its own theology with other variations of the faith. There has been very little ‘mercy’ in the way Sunni treat Shia, or Shia treat Sunni. And let’s not forget the efforts of the Taliban to destroy the cultural heritages of other faiths. Clearly, he’s in the minority opinion that his religion invites diversity.

Asinine Assumption #4: The Qur’an is a scientific book

This is a common trope of all religions: they claim their obscurist, vague book describes in detail real scientific phenomenon that would have been impossible for desert people to know. For instance, did you know that

1. Humans were created out of a clot of blood.
2. The Sun revolves around the Earth.
3. The Moon is further away than the stars.
4. Your sperm is produced in your spine.
5. Bees eat fruit, not pollen!
6. Birds fly because god wills it.
7. Mohammad flew into the heavens on a winged horse called Buraq.
8. Fresh water and salt water cannot mix.

Need I go on?

Asinine Assumption #5: We believe things based on testimony

If there’s one thing you can rely on, it’s the fact that human beings are the worst, least trustworthy witnesses around. Not only is memory a total wash: it’s notorious for fabricating things. In science, we actually plan for the human element, doing our best to take ourselves as much out of the equation as possible. The idea that knowledge is based on testimony is a religious idea, not a modern one.

Asinine Assumption #6: Islam has no problem with non-believers or apostates

The classic mistake most of these religious apologists make is that they assume their liberal interpretation of their religion is shared by others. That’s simply untrue. The fact remains the vast majority of Muslims do believe non-believers are doomed to hell, and apostasy is a crime punishable by death. Several Muslim countries have these laws in the books, and only international pressure has allowed the stay of executions for unlucky individuals who dare question the ‘truth’ of Islam.

Sorry, I’m a little confused now…who exactly got OWNED here?

Mother Teresa confirmed as giant, twisted person

Posted on by
Reply

How ahead of his time was Christopher Hitchens? Well, when he released his book, The Missionary Position in 1995, the notion that Mother Teresa was anything less than a saint was believed by the entire world. Even after his follow-up documentary, Hell’s Angel, it still seemed as though her reputation as a do-gooder would never truly be tarnished.

Slowly, over time, her insanity and cruelty has been exposed. In fact, a new Canadian study by the University of Montreal is shedding even more light on Teresa and her grim institution, appropriately called “Homes for the Dying”. These are squalid hellholes, with little to no hygiene, no pain medication, or even food. This was contrasted by her own medical care in American hospitals, where she enjoyed only the finest treatments available at the time.

All of these facts have been available to the rest of the world for a long time, but I suppose every once in a while, old information becomes new again. In this case, it’s how twisted and cruel this evil little dwarf was. With hundreds of millions of dollars wasted on these torture houses, one researcher thinks some good can still come out of all of this:

Larivee however signs off on a surprisingly positive note and says there could also be a positive effect of the Mother Teresa myth. “If the extraordinary image of Mother Teresa conveyed in the collective imagination has encouraged humanitarian initiatives that are genuinely engaged with those crushed by poverty, we can only rejoice,” they signed off.

I think the net result of Mother Teresa’s existence has been more suffering, more ignorance, more death and pain than would have otherwise have occurred if the old bitch had been run over by a bus in her youth. The fact that any delusional religious rube still quotes her as an example of charity truly cheapens the very meaning of the word. We would have all been better off without her.

Kirk Cameron wants to open your mind…to nonsense

Posted on by
Reply

Are you having trouble evangelizing to people who seem to know more about the Bible than you do? Don’t worry, child actor Kirk Cameron has the solution for you. He’s re-posted an old article from his master entitled “How to Witness to a Closed-Minded Person“. As you may have guessed, it’s about as compelling as an episode of The View. Here’s his advice for how to talk to people who think God and his magical play-land are bogus as shit:

I simply say, “I know that you don’t believe in those things, but if Heaven does exist, will you make it in — are you a good person?” The word “if” is the key that will unlock the door. I deliberately emphasize it as I say it, because it’s non-threatening.

“If God was to judge you by the Ten Commandments on Judgment Day, would you be innocent or guilty?” What he is hearing isn’t exactly what he wants to hear, but the accusations of guilt aren’t coming from without. They are coming from within his own heart, and that has the effect of stopping his mouth of justification, and helping him see that he has sinned against God.

I love how Christians think the 10 Commandments are some kind of incredible moral achievement. There really are only two laws that make any sense to us today – the provisions not to steal and not to murder – but even these two so-called laws have exceptions: if someone is trying to kill you, we have no objections to lethal force, nor do we have a huge problem with starving people occasionally stealing a loaf of bread. See, our legal framework, which we’ve spent decades refining, wasn’t written by some asshole on a mountain. So, failing to properly obey the Sabbath, coveting your neighbor’s possessions, or saying an offhand “Jesus Christ!” isn’t even on our fucking radar in terms of immorality, nor should it be. I don’t recall the Commandments speaking against rape, torture, genocide, infanticide, sectarian conflict, or even forcibly taking the property of others. In fact, all of these behaviors are actually ENDORSED by the Bible!

We live among a hedonistic generation that drinks iniquity like water. Nothing else matters except quenching the thirst for sex, porn, parties and pleasure. As the Scriptures say, “God is not in their thoughts.” However, a biblical presentation of the gospel injects God into his thoughts and makes him think seriously about his own eternal salvation.

We live in such a hedonistic time that selfish little god-haters are spending their time trying to improve the world and make it less ignorant. Your Biblical God, the same genocidal maniac who commanded his chosen people to smash little babies against rocks, is most definitely NOT in our thoughts, and there’s nothing in your little book of fairy tales that even comes close to making salient points about morality in these modern times.

Now if you were expecting any other arguments from this failed actor, I’m sorry to disappoint: it seems the only trick Ray has learned is to try and make people feel like guilty pieces of shit before offering them the olive branch of his little provincial deity, who fears ‘salvation’ for unquestioning belief, and eternal damnation for healthy doubt. What a swell guy! Tell me again how this megalomaniacal, murderous God loves me. I just can’t hear enough.

The Earth is truly awesome

Posted on by
Reply

If there’s one thing that seems fairly universal, it’s the fact that going into outer-space changes you forever. Just listen to the testimonials of all these astronauts and tell me that the humbling experience of hovering over the Earth isn’t a life altering experience. Seriously, I think every human being should be given the chance to feel as infinitely small as possible, if only to grasp the true scope of the Universe.

Jesus is my highly offensive word

Posted on by
Reply

I have an admiration for train wrecks, and I can’t imagine a greater tragedy than this rap video tastefully titled “Jesus is my Nigga”. It’s appropriately sung by a bunch of out-of-touch white dudes with very limited musical skills. Luckily, the whole thing is such a complete mess that it winds up being entertaining in the end. Still, I want to know: was there not some moment where a young person took these grandpas to the side and told them how insanely bad this idea was? Did everyone hope this would lead people towards their sadistic death cult or something?

Rated “O” for Offensive as hell

Posted on by
Reply

What do you get when you combine shitty inspirational synth music with a bigoted, ignorant Christian teenage girl? You get the ironically titled “Rated T for Tolerance”, a strange Orwellian name that belies their own contorted views of reality.

Now some of you might think that this video falls under “Poe’s Law”, but as I’ve said in the past, when it’s impossible to tell the difference, what does it matter? She’s representing the views of millions of assholes, so as far as I’m concerned, she’s in their ranks.

Pink Swastika author Scott Lively charged

Posted on by
Reply

If you don’t know who Scott Lively is, he’s the monster who authored The Pink Swastika, a book I’ve derided in the past for its pseudo-historical claim that Nazis were a secret gay organization intent on destroying heterosexuality. It ranks about as high as The Protocols of the Elders of Zion in terms of historical verisimilitude.

In March of 2009, Scott and a posse of other Evangelical Christians traveled to Uganda, and gave a series a talks about ‘the gay agenda’. They covered the typical tropes, such as baseless accusations of gays sodomizing teenage boys, therapies to covert them back to being straight, and said gays had an evil social agenda. The conference was widely attended, and a few months later, helped inspire Uganda’s ‘Kill the Gays Bill’.

Since March 2012, a group called Sexual Minorities Uganda sued Lively under the Alien Tort Statute (which allows U.S. courts to hear human-rights cases brought by foreign citizens for conduct committed outside the United States) In this case, individuals claiming that Scott’s hateful rhetoric has caused the suffering and death of countless individuals. Pepe Julian Onziema, the Advocacy and Policy Officer at Sexual Minorities Uganda, had this to say:

Coming face to face with the man who has caused us so much pain is important to me. We want him held accountable for the escalating homophobia and persecution in Uganda. This case is about making it clear to people who have exported their hate agenda to Uganda that their actions have a very real effect on us and they must stop.

A federal judge is now reviewing his motion to dismiss the case.

While he claims he has only the best intentions for gays (believing they need to be cured of their condition), he continues to try and blame every conceivable calamity on them. He’s recently accused gays of causing the “great Flood that supposedly brought humanity once again to an evolutionary bottleneck no species could survive (it’s called “minimum viable population sizes, and trust me, that number isn’t 5 people), hinting another may come if we continue to give gays the same rights as everyone else.

So, is it hate speech or not?

This woman is in serious danger

Posted on by
Reply

A few months ago I wrote about a major scam called “Advanced Cell Training”. As the bullshit name implies, this pseudo-scientific claptrap purports to heal without the use of antibiotics or other medicine. While the specifics of this escape me (since I refuse to give these scammers even one penny), there is no doubt that encouraging people with serious illnesses – like Lyme Disease – that antibiotics are not needed is the height of criminality. How these people are not in jail for false medical claims is beyond me.

Here’s a perfect example to illustrate my point: a comment I received concerning an article I wrote a little while back

I will AGAIN BEG TO DIFFER FROM ALL OF YOU SCEPTICS!!!!
This program Advanced Cell Training ,,,,,has saved my Life!!!!!!! I have SUFFERED from severe shortness of breath,, to where I have to leave events ,, due to basically ,,just not getting AIR!!! AIR HUNGER,,,,, From LYME DISEASE,, WHICH BROKE OUT INTO BABESIA,,,, causing Horrible Shortness of Breath …. Since 2008,,,, !,
ACT,, has saved my life! I am out of bed, going to events, working, and the best part ,,,is SINGING to a song on the radio in the car>>>which one can’t do ,,, due to no AIR!!! I went to 5 different Pulmonary Docs,,, 6 different inhalers,,, NONE WORKED!! I was finally diagnosed with Lyme Disease less than a year ago!
Gary Blier,, and ACT,,, IS NOT A SCAM!! I was in suicide condition,,,,,, due to such bad shortness of breath!!!!
So to all you HATERS AND NON BELIEVERS ,,,,, I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU!!!!! ….. Anyone that bashes this is a IGNORAMOUS….. THIS IS NO JOKE, SCAM, !!!! TO ALL THAT WANT THERE LIFE BACK,,, DUE TO LYME DISEASE,, I URGE YOU TO AT LEAST CHECK INTO THIS!! REG Doctors and Antibiotics do NOT CURE LYME DISEASE!!!!

Now, if this woman was fortunate enough to get fully treated for her illness, then the symptoms she suffered after the disease disappear (depression, fatigue, and neurocognitive difficulties), is actually expected. While scientists aren’t quite sure why these symptoms manifest themselves, the real danger in the disease is how long it goes untreated. A person who decides to forgo treatment, or end it prematurely, puts their health in serious jeopardy. Over time, it seems as though these symptoms naturally disappear, so what could be better than pretending to have a technique to help alleviate things that are notoriously hard to measure.

Her objections to our skepticism is also quite telling: exclamation marks and Caps Lock litter the screen, which in her mind must constitute some form of proof (you’ll notice that unskeptical idiots think passion is a substitute for facts). We’re supposed to trust her anecdotal evidence as proof meditation cures diseases, but that’s not the way things work. Feel sorry for us do you? I’m not the one risking my life with crazy nonsense, lady.