Author Archives: Jacob Fortin

Who needs a lab when you have a green screen?

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You know what’s great about being an ‘Intelligent Design’ scientist? You get to save all of the money you would normally be spending on electron microscopes, computers, DNA sequencing machines or a host of other expensive equipment. Why bother to invest in technology when your premise is the world of make-believe is more real than the physical one? The only ‘equipment’ you need is a lab coat, a Bible, and a green screen to allow your ‘scientists’ to appear credible when being interviewed by other creationists Intelligent Design advocates.

Of course, if you are going to try the whole ‘credibility’ angle, there is a slight chance that the Internet will totally call you up on your ridiculous bullshit. So when the Discovery Institute (an organization whose only discovery is how gullible Americans are) was filming a segment for their ongoing series of ludicrous videos denying gravity evolution, they thought it would be a good idea to have their ‘scientist’ sitting in lab. The only problem being the Discovery institute doesn’t have any such facility. Instead, they opted to green screen that shit with an image they found at Shutterstock. Not exactly their most brilliant move (but pretty close).

Can you believe this guy?

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I don’t often get trolled, but when I do, it’s usually something epic. Take this “Marcus” character for instance: he commented on an article I wrote about a ridiculous book written called The Pink Swastika, by a religious fundy who claims Hitler and his thugs were actually a gang of ‘homofascists’, intent on corrupting the world with their ‘gayness’. This revisionist history completely ignores the fact that some 100,000 gay men and women were executed in concentration camps, although I’m sure such a shitty historian probably doubts the reality of Hitler’s Final Solution as well.

I’ll let Marcus explain why this piece of shit book isn’t a total fabrication:

The Southern Poverty Law Center IS a hate group. Hitler’s Brown shirts were exclusively homosexual. You fascist neopagans only attack the religious to divert attention from the fact that you share Hitler’s Marxist views. Nothing you say can erase Hitler’s own words and policies. Just because Hitler was a national socialist instead of being a communist doesn’t change the fact that he persecuted Christians, Jews, the elderly, the deaf etc. long before the Night of the Long Knives and that he used tactics now seen in Occupy and the public sector unions and the Nazi party in NY and CA, which are groups populated primarily by angry queers. The fact is, Hitler persecuted the Jews and Christians because of their objective views on morality, views which stand contrary to post modernism, subjective morality and savage pre-enlightenment practices such as euthanasia, eugenics and the final solution to the human condition- industrialized mass murder. Ya’ll are accusing the majority of being secret Nazis when your Nazi buddies are in public view, announcing their views which mirror your own. No wonder you try to convince yourselves of lies on [sic] teh interwebs when your entire “worldviews” are wrapped up in a lie so contradictory to the truth. Your tiny socialist brains can’t handle your hypocrisy.

The Southern Poverty Law Center, in case you were wondering, is an organization that’s been fighting white supremacists and anti-gay hate groups since 1971. Calling them a hate group is like calling the Red Cross an invading army.

Now, if you’re trying to make any sense of the rest, there’s something fundamentally important you have to consider: the American right thinks communism is fascism. The confusion has multiple sources: first, it seems as though most Americans are unfamiliar with their own respective political spectrum. They are also seemingly confused by the fact that Hitler’s political party had the word ‘Socialist’ in it.

As for this strange tactic that the ‘Occupy’ movement was somehow inspired by Hitler, it would do well for this uneducated moron to read a little history: Fascism is in fact anti-union, and believes a strong relationship between government and business leaders is necessary in order to achieve self-sustainability and to ensure that businesses maintain a high degree of profitability. Fascism rejects individuality and favors a strong national identity. Adherents are unquestioningly patriotic (sound familiar?), and view violence as a means of preserving their national vitality (kinda like sending drones to kill civilians, no?).

Of course it’s not difficult to imagine that this Marcus fellow is an angry, bigoted man with zero understanding of history or political movements. But he also represents the new face of American Fascism: one that is unaware of its own identity, blinded by a conflation of terms and ideologies, and motivated primarily by the same forces that inspired those brown-shirts to mold the world in their terrifying image. When Sinclair Lewis said when fascism came to America, it would be “wrapped up in the American flag and heralded as a plea for liberty and preservation of the constitution”, he failed to understand the ones carrying that flag would be totally unaware of the consequences and significance of their own actions. Driven primarily by their own hatred of others, American Fascists are in denial about themselves. They accuse others of being communists for even the slightest hint of socialism, and then do everything in their power to hand over the keys to their country to the rich Oligarchy, promising them Christianity and the repression of homosexuals. If that doesn’t sound at all familiar to you guys, then I suggest you hit the library. Clearly, Marcus never has.

Charlton Heston freaks your kids out

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Working on the Bible Stories book has made me realize it’s categorically impossible to gloss the horror out of these stories. The proof? Just watch this kid’s Bible cartoon, and just how creepy it is. For the love of their provincial god Yahweh, they wrote a song about Isaac being bound up and prepared to be killed for some imaginary friend. Yeah, I’d imagine a kid having some pretty serious nightmare and trust issues after watching that horror unfold.

God is a shitty provider

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What’s better than a bunch of white, middle class yahoos singing rap lyrics? How about a rap about how God needs you to give him 10 percent of your income, even if it means not buying your groceries or paying your rent?

“Before I buy groceries or pay the rent,
I’ve got to give God his full 10 percent,
He gives me a Hundred and I give him back ten
and I’m blessed all day from beginning to end

Why does God need money, you ask? Well, apparently the ‘great provider’ has a serious problem balancing his checkbook, and only a huge chunk of your income can solve his cash flow problems. But don’t worry: even though giving so much of your income might put you in debt, or make you unable to make all your payments on time, you can take comfort in the fact that God loves people who allow his representatives to drive in Cadillacs instead of taking the bus.

At least when TGA asks you for a tithe, it’s actually closer to .0001% of your income, and you know exactly where it goes: I don’t pretend that it’s used for any other purpose than to sustain me.

Egyptian atheist facing blasphemy sentence

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Every religion claims to be the one and only truth, but when confronted with conflicting reality, their true colors really come out. Faith is actually a fragile thing: it persists due to ignorance, and is fueled by a raw hatred of anything contrary to its pathetic narrative. Nowhere is this more true than with Islam. This religion is possibly the most insecure religion of them all. Dissent is not tolerated, and apostasy is a real crime in their eyes. If God truly is on their side, why does ‘He’ need to be defended so much?

While we non-believers know the real answer (i.e., that one ridiculous superstition is as unworthy as the next), the faithful have tried to justify their persecution as piety. The latest in a series of injustices brought to you by the world’s most violent and misogynistic faith involves an Egyptian man by the name of Alber Saber. He’s accused of being an atheist and spreading ‘sectarian ideas’ (which you quickly realize are two conflicting charges), and faces up to 5 year in jail for the crime of speaking his mind.

The case against Saber, who is charged with ‘contempt of religion’ for being an atheist and for allegedly spreading ‘sectarian ideas’ after being accused of disseminating the anti-Islam film that sparked protests across the Islamic world in September, is a battle for belief, or no belief, and is riding high on activists’ minds.

Amnesty International has asked that people write to the Egyptian government urging them to release Saber, whose only crime is having a controversial opinion about God. Unfortunately, with the growing power of Islamic fundamentalists in the country who demand a hardline stance against any perceived insult to Islam, it’s doubtful Saber will be released. It’s far more likely, in fact, that he will be found guilty this December and spend 5 years behind bars for daring to question the validity of the world’s most insecure religion. I would also seriously question his safety inside the prison: he was apparently threatened with sharp blades and some neck slashing before he ‘confessed’ to the crime. This was after an angry mob had attacked him in his home. None of these violent vigilantes face any kind of punishment for taking the law in their own hands. This is the double standard of Egypt, and it’s not about to change any time soon.

Ultra-Orthodox Jews harass sexually abused girl

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It’s hard for individuals unfamiliar with Orthodox Jewish culture to fully understand the scope of isolation in that community. For starters, a large number of Orthodox denominations were a direct response to the assimilation of Jews in society near the end of the 19th century. Believing integration with society was leading to impiety, Orthodox Jews adopted a rather extreme position when it comes to the outside world. Everything is forbidden, and the whole community basically operates outside of the laws you and I typically follow.

Every once in a while, a scandal erupts even the community cannot hide. After a young woman came forward to authorities with her abuse story, a number of Ultra-Orthodox men were arrested when it was discovered they had tried to make the charges against Rabbi Nechemya Weberman disappear by offering the victim 500,000 dollars for her to leave the country. When the couple refused, the 4 thugs damaged his restaurant, tearing up his kosher seal.  The move has angered his fellow Jews:

Orthodox Jews are supposed to adhere strictly to the laws and ethics of the Torah (Bible) – and clearly the Torah abhors behavior like this. These people’s acts are neither religious nor Orthodox – and it infuriates me to hear them referred to by the media as “religious”, or Weberman referred to as a “Rabbi.” Rabbi is a title of respect, even reverence, and surely someone who allegedly fondled a young girl and forced a 12-year-old to perform indecent acts is not worthy of this label.

This is simply another variation of the ‘No True Scotsman’ fallacy. Any religious leader caught abusing their power must not be a true believer! The problem with that analogy, of course, is it essentially ignores the fact the very power and reverence they receive is part of the problem: with this level of control over their congregation, combined with the ultra-secretive nature of the religion, abuse is almost a guarantee. Just ask the Catholic Church what that combination leads to.

So ineffectual is government to create some kind of oversight for these loonies, that just the other day, the New York City Board of Health put together a regulation which would ‘force’ parents who still allow mohels to suck their infant’s circumcised penis to sign a consent form beforehand (essentially doing nothing to stop the dangerous practice that has already claimed lives). That toothless piece of legislation will undoubtedly do nothing to change their outmoded and dangerous practices. You won’t see the government bending over backwards for any other group, but the raw political power of Orthodox Jews in New York is considerable, and there exists no political will to change things. So long as isolated religious communities thrive, so too will stories of their concealed abuses.

Mark Driscoll thinks Twilight is evil

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Ok, I’ll admit I think the Twilight series is terrible, but is it evil, sinister, or sick and twisted? It reads more like the kind of book you might expect a desperately lonely fat high school girl to write, with the added murderer/rapist fantasy thrown in. While you can argue about the merits of the story, you can’t argue with the sales figures: Stephanie Meyer’s series has sold over 116 million copies worldwide and has been translated in 38 languages. You may not like it, but you cannot deny its popularity.

It’s that very popularity which seems to anger the patriarchal, domineering man known as Mark Driscoll. The head of Mars Hill Church is convinced that isolated incidents of vampire-related assaults and sex-orgies are undoubtedly caused by impressionable teens reading a book with the words ‘per se’ used over 100 times.

The popularity of supernatural soap operas has inspired some real-life demonic trends. Overreaction? Tell that to the kids biting, cutting, drinking blood—sometimes while having sex—and sinking deeper into the occult:

Driscoll then proceeds to use isolated examples of weird assaults to draw a connection between teen obsession with vampires and the general degradation of society. Maybe you could make the case that print is dead, buried by the likes of Meyer and the 50 Shades of Grey guy, but this idea that everyone who reads this book will turn into a demon possessed monster is so ridiculous, it actually hurts my brain.

The problem with the occult is that it doesn’t actually exist. Oh sure, people will often pretend sinister, demonic stuff is happening, but because all that shit is totally made up, no one actually buys into it. The only ones who do are gullible Christians who think Satan is real and possessing people. The rest of us think all this crap is about as genuinely scary as Halloween (the other thing these whackjobs are also scared about). What do you expect from people who take their nonsense literally?

Hypocrite child actor urges fan not to watch show

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I can’t stand TV sitcoms. Maybe it’s the fact their predictability is only surpassed by the insipidness of their jokes. Who knows. Generally speaking I tend to ignore the crap out of them and call it a day.

One of the chief perpetrator of nauseating trash on TV is the show Two and a Half Men. You might remember former star Charlie Sheen had a bit of a meltdown (give a junkie millions and watch what fun stuff he does), and was replaced with the even more obnoxious Ashton Kutcher. Now it seems another actor is drawing controversy.

Angus Jones, who plays the kid (well, now young adult) recently released a video about his religiosity, and apart from the regular tropes religious people can’t help but regurgitate, he also expressed remorse at his involvement with the TV show, which he called ‘Ungodly Filth’ due to its sex-heavy stories. He’s recently come out as a Seventh Day Adventist, and he urged his fan not to watch the show, lest the poor guy become corrupted by the message that sex is fun and awesome.

In case you were wondering what Seventh Day Adventists are all about (who can keep track of all these nutty religions?), they’re an offshoot of the Millerites, a Rapture-like movement who predicted the Second Coming of Jesus would occur between 1843 and 1844. When the prediction failed (something the Millerites called “The Great Disappointment”), most of the followers went back to their old congregations with their tails between their legs. A few decided that William Miller’s calculations of the Second Coming was something else entirely, and formed their own groups with different ways of justifying their total embarrassment in the face of reality.

The groups that eventually mutated into today’s modern Seventh Day Adventists focused on doctrinal differences with mainline Protestantism in 3 fundamental ways:

1) Immortality is conditional on belief in Jesus, who only grants you ever lasting life if he so chooses. Otherwise, you vanish into non-existence (no Hell)
2) Saturday is the day of rest, and not Sunday
3) Eat Kosher, and refrain from most of the fun stuff life has to offer

These former Millerites are all looking forward to the End Times and all that fun head chomping, wine-press full of blood shit fundamentalists are so fond of.

To recap, a kid who went to Christian schools his whole life (not a good sign or education) suddenly feels guilty that the 350k he makes per episode is leading to the moral decay of society; something he should actually be happy about, since this is but one of many supposed signs of the end times. Here’s an idea, pal: why don’t you quit the show, give all your money to charity, and sit on your roof waiting for your homicidal messiah to come down and kill all your enemies?

Atheists accused of declaring war on Christmas

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I’m beginning to think it’s totally impossible to do anything secular in America without some religious jackass accusing us of waging a “War on Christmas”. This pathetic attempt to make Christians appear marginalized has the effect of making them all look like old fools, if you ask me. When there’s any kind of story that exploits this fear mongering, the media will trip over themselves to cover a make believe war while totally ignoring the reality of a present one.

One such annoying tale of over-reaction involves a simple complaint made by a parent at Terry Elementary School in Little Rock, Arkansas. She complained to the Arkansas Society of Freethinkers that the school was showing a screening of “A Charlie Brown Christmas” -effectively displaying, with taxpayer monies – a religious movie sponsored by a public institution. Worried there might be a backlash against her daughter if she removed her from the event, the parent in question asked that the children pay 2 bucks to cover the cost so the school wouldn’t flip the bill. Sounds like a non-story, right? Well, you obviously don’t troll conservative sites like I do:

The Daily Mail’s headline says it all, don’t you think?

Atheist group attacks elementary school over field trip to see ‘A Charlie Brown Christmas’ at local church claiming it ‘violates religious freedoms’

The problem, of course, is that no such attack took place. The parent who complained still allowed her child to go. She merely highlighted the fact A Charlie Brown Christmas still has a religious theme to it, and schools should not be in the business of endorsing any religion. The fact conservative ass-hats take these kinds of non-stories and blow them out of proportion goes to show it really doesn’t matter how politely you try to bring your objections to Christian privilege: we’ll always be accused of trying to destroy the hopes and dreams of people who want total religious homogeny in America.

Baby boy dies after botched circumcision

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Ok, here’s the deal, folks; before you read this article, I have to warn you that you’re not going to like reading some of the details of this story. I’ve written a lot about male genital mutilation (colloquially known as ‘circumcision’) in the past, but for some reason, this one story sent visuals in my head that I can’t shake off. So, you’ve officially been warned.

The story begins in Manchester, where a young and naïve couple from Nigeria -having recently given birth to a baby boy – hired a nurse by the name of Grace Adeleye for the sum of 100 pounds to circumcise their infant son. Adeleye arrived with her own ‘medical instruments’: an ordinary pair of scissors and a bottle of olive oil. After asking for a bowl of hot water (an antiseptic in her eyes), she cut the foreskin without any anesthetic or disinfectant, and the resulting wound eventually led to enough blood loss that the baby died shortly after.

Unfortunately, this is not an isolated event:

The court heard up to three children a month are admitted to the Royal Manchester Children’s Hospital because of bleeding after home-based circumcisions – a danger the nurse should have been aware of.

Adeleye denies her negligence, but it’s obvious this idiot knew less than nothing about medicine. This kind of tragedy happens all the time to countless other children living in countries where their death is just another statistic, all in the name of religious traditions that have no place in the modern world.

The Salvation Army exec who stole Christmas

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I hate the Salvation Army. First off, they aren’t a charitable organization. They are registered as a church, which means while some of the money and goods people give to them do go to the needy, they still run it like it is a business, buying expensive real estate, and more importantly, being exempt from needing to show where it uses its money and for what. Don’t believe me? Take a look at their mission statement:

“the advancement of the Christian religion… of education, the relief of poverty, and other charitable objects beneficial to society or the community of mankind as a whole.”

It’s that “and other charitable objects” which make us think these guys are a charity, but while they do offer some helpful services, it’s more of combination of a church/business than anything else. For instance, did you know they own a real estate portfolio worth in excess of 4 billion dollars? It’s difficult to know how much of their money goes to charity, since as a registered church, they’re exempt from financial scrutiny. Basically, the Salvation Army is like a gigantic mystery box filled with money, goods, and massive financing from the government.

If you were still thinking of donating money or goods after having been told how shitty they are, consider what happened in Toronto recently. Former CEO of the Toronto branch, David Rennie, recently surrendered to police after investigators found 2 million dollars in stolen merchandise he was hoarding in a warehouse. The search began after an anonymous tipster noticed there were over 100k in toys missing from inventory over the period of two years (I ran a warehouse, and I have to tell you, that’s a ridiculous amount of time for things to go missing, and a ridiculous amount of goods to go unnoticed).

The organization now claims it will work to avoid any further problems with the help of accounting firm KPMG. You might remember them for the brilliant audit they did of Bernie Maddoff’s ponzi scheme. Perhaps the Olympic bribery scandal is more familiar to you. How about something more recent, like their failed due diligence in the Hewlett Packard / Autonomy that cost the company 5 billion dollars in losses?

Yeah, I’m sure they’ll do a fantastic job of ensuring an organization that has no real accountability is doing right by us…

I don’t think you’re done reading, pal

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Hey look, it’s an atheist who converted to religion. All it took for him was:

a) To read one book about atheism
b) To think that one book would give him the needed skepticism to reject the joke that is C.S. Lewis’ “Mere Christianity“
c) To stop thinking critically immediately afterwards

This guy was seduced by the morality argument? What, the ‘feelings’ you had couldn’t be explained WITHOUT referring to a supernatural force? Christianity can keep you dude, we want the smart ones on our side.

Answers in Genesis writes hilarious letter to atheists

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For some odd reason, I love the idea that there are religious believers out there who try to convert atheists back to religion. I can’t imagine a more pointless exercise. They really think there must be some magical argument to ‘win us’ back to the fold. They can’t understand our decision not to believe in God is the result of years of slow and gradual change, ultimately leading to the conclusion that the provincialism of supernatural entities is a guarantee of their falsehood.

The most hopeless of these bunch of jokers has to be the Answers in Genesis folks. As the name implies, these deluded morons think everything in the Bible must be believed, despite the gargantuan effort it takes to reconcile reality with fantasy (they usually just end up ignoring most of the former). If you really want to know just how profoundly ignorant they are about non belief, take a gander at this open letter to atheists they recently wrote:

Are you tired of all the evil associated with the philosophy of atheism—Stalin, Hitler, Pol Pot, and so on? After all, most murderers, tyrants, and rapists are not biblical Christians, and most have rejected the God of the Bible. Even if they claim to believe in the God of the Bible, they are not really living like a true Christ follower (who strives to follow God’s Word), are they?

Ah, the No True Scotsman fallacy  Never gets old, right? If someone does something you don’t agree with, it’s easy just to claim they aren’t true believers. I could try this same tactic to try and ‘defend’ atheism, but there’s really no point. People do all sorts of nasty things to one another, even when they don’t have the extra justification of thinking their actions are sanctioned by their private gods. As Stalin and Mao have shown, one does not need religion to start a cult: you just need the same uncritical thinking religious people are so fond of.

In fact, why would an atheist care to live one moment longer in a broken universe where one is merely rearranged pond scum and all you have to look forward to is . . . death, which can be around any corner? And in 467 trillion years, no one will care one iota about what you did or who you were or how and when you died—because death is the ultimate “hero” in an atheistic, evolutionary worldview. Of course, as a Christian I disagree, and I have a basis to see you as having value.

Lovely. The “atheists don’t believe in the afterlife and therefore don’t take it as seriously as we do” nonsense. It’s actually shocking how much they don’t understand what not believing in Disneyland in the clouds is really all about. While many former believers do express the initial grief and sorrow they feel from losing a love one, no one can claim atheists don’t have a full appreciation for this life. Unlike Christians, who think this life is merely a pit-stop in an otherwise lengthy vacation to magical Wally World in the sky where all your deceased loved ones are breathlessly anticipating your return. Why should one even bother with the hardships of this world if the next one, supposedly lasting an eternity, is so wonderful?

For professing atheists, these questions can be overwhelming to make sense of within their worldview. And further, within an atheistic worldview, atheists must view themselves as God. Essentially, atheists are claiming to be God. Instead of saying there may not be a God, they say there is no God. To make such a statement, they must claim to be omniscient

While there might be a few nonbelievers who make the positive claim that there can be no God, most of us instead chose to merely reject a claim made with no evidence whatsoever. In a sense, all religious people use this same method to reject the gods of other religions. No one would accuse them of omniscience for refusing to believe in Thor, Zeus, or Mithras. Atheism is merely the lack of belief in these and all other forms of religious superstition. It does not take omniscience to reject a bad premise.

Are you weary of looking for evidence that contradicts the Bible’s account of creation and finding none? Do the assumptions and inconsistencies of dating methods weigh on your conscience when they are misrepresented as fact? Where do you suppose those missing links have gone into hiding? Surely the atheist sees the folly and hopelessness of believing that everything came from nothing.

Yeah, it’s so hard to find examples of contradictions in the Bible…It must be easy not to see them when you’ve chosen to ignore the real world, right?

Where atheists have no basis for logic and reason (or even for truth, since truth is immaterial), Bible believers can understand that mankind is made in the image of a logical and reasoning God who is the truth…Christians also have a basis to explain why people sometimes don’t think logically due to the Fall of mankind in Genesis

I guess the reason we can’t think logically is because Eve ate a magical fruit and the first humans were cast out of Adventureland, only to have a bunch of inbred, fratricidal children. See, it has nothing to do with our evolved mammalian brain! God is a gigantic, omniscient Ape who made you in his image, and in return, you need to give him all your money. Wow, sure sounds like I should eliminate the foundation of my beliefs and just go for the nonsense. I couldn’t possibly believe in anything logical if I didn’t!

Don’t believe in God in Kentucky? Get ready for jail time!

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It’s not enough that religious folks are always shoving their religion down our throats; they also now want to enforce the ‘crime’ of not believing in their invisible friend. If you can believe this (and trust me, I’m still in shock), the state of Kentucky has effectively declared war on non-believers, threatening jail time for anyone who fails to “recognize the primacy of the Christian God”:

In Kentucky, a homeland security law requires the state’s citizens to acknowledge the security provided by the Almighty God–or risk 12 months in prison.

So what exactly does this law entail? Well, every Homeland Security office is obliged to have a plaque clearly displaying their preference for a specific, state endorsed deity with the following words on it:

The safety and security of the Commonwealth cannot be achieved apart from reliance upon Almighty God as set forth in the public speeches and proclamations of American Presidents. These include Abraham Lincoln’s historic March 30, 1863, presidential proclamation urging Americans to pray and fast during one of the most dangerous hours in American history, and the text of President John F. Kennedy’s November 22, 1963, national security speech which concluded: “For as was written long ago: ‘Except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.’”

The specifics of this strange and pointless proclamation is this: all Homeland Security offices in Kentucky must display a plaque admitting the US needs God to protect it against scary terrorists. Anyone failing to display these monstrosities faces up to a year of jail time. It’s patently ridiculous.

The law was drafted by a state rep/Baptist minister named Tom Riner who takes his job as a pastor way more seriously than he does his civic one. He’s also found a way past the pesky problem of trying to pressure your state rep into enacting grossly unconstitutional laws that oblige everyone to acknowledge their insecure deity. The big problem is while the ACLU has been fighting this in the courts to have it declared unconstitutional – achieving some success in the Circuit Court – it’s currently sitting in limbo after the State Court of Appeals reversed it while they try to bring it before the Supreme court (so many courts, so little time).

Effectively, this ridiculous law makes it mandatory to ‘recognize’ the primacy of someone’s make believe friend. I don’t know about you, but I’m getting fed up with the fact that you can’t even pretend there’s a dividing line between religion in politics. Religion has been dipping its toe in the government pool for so long, it’s permanently wrinkled.

 

Teen sentenced to 10 years of hard church

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f there’s a time in one’s life fraught with tragedy, it’s probably the hormone saturated period in our lives known as our ‘teen years’. How many of us have done something so incredibly stupid it still haunts us today? Tyler Alred will need to live with the fact his drunk driving took the life of his friend and passenger, 16-year-old John Luke Dum. He’ll also need to spend the next decade going to church regularly, lest he break the conditions of his sentence:

An Oklahoma teen convicted of manslaughter has sentenced to 10 years of probation, with requirements that include regularly attending church….In deferring the sentence, the judge not only ordered Alred to a decade of church attendance, but also required him to finish high school and welding school.

Alred’s attorney and the victim’s family agreed to the terms of the sentence.

Now I know the family has actually agreed to it (mostly because it seems to oblige their son NOT to become a high school dropout loser), but it doesn’t change the fact even the judge realized how unconstitutional the whole thing was. Nevertheless, he thought it wise to include a sentence forcing the young man to attend church services for at least 10 years of his life. This sentence is obviously meant to give him structure and discipline, but it’s frustrating people still think religion helps you act more moral. It’s simply not true. In fact, religious can often make you act totally immoral, with the added ‘bonus’ of feeling simultaneously morally superior and thinking your invisible friend is on your side (killing others in his supposed name comes to mind). If anything, he should have ordered the kid to read The God Delusion, since the atheist prison population is disproportionately small. Could you imagine the outrage if he did? Fox News would have a fucking meltdown.