My friends and loved ones will testify to my undying love of Dr. Pepper. I like the taste, I like the logo, and for a while, I even had a Dr. Pepper background on my x-box. You could say I was a little obsessed with the drink, to say the least.
Now I’m officially in love, considering the fact that the company’s new ad – featuring a monkey evolving into a man after having found a can of Dr. Pepper – has upset fundamentalist Christians every time someone doesn’t credit Jesus for everything in the Universe. The Facebook post is still generating discussion, with comments sitting somewhere in excess of 3k.
Much of the early discussion was dominated by a Christian troll by the name of Amy, who was filled with powerful gems of insight:
so all you people seem to think that moon has a gravity… have you been there, didn’t think so. just like your other theories. you were a human when you were born and you are still a human. Monkies [sic] stay monkies [sic] humans stay humans. evolution is same if I claimed that an apple will in time turn in to a pineapple, but in fact it will just rot. think about that
If anyone didn’t get it before, i will never again drink dr. pepper. in fact i will go shoplift some and pour it on the ground, take that atheists. i did like it before but this is just wrong. the children will grow up to be stupid if they’re surrounded by this kind of media.
You’ll be happy to know the vast majority of the comments are actually making fun of these idiots and their inability to grasp reality. The Internet is, after all, dominated by Godless heathens like yourself. So, if you’re looking for a laugh, go read some of these comments yourself.
Did I mention this Amy chick also has a crazy website I’ll be making fun of in my next post?
There’s a part of me (a small one, I assure you) that admires the conviction of creationists. They, at least, are honest about the fact that the science of evolution is a pretty huge slap in the face to the notion of a creator God. Not only does it completely invalidate their silly mythology, it also clearly indicates that human beings are a product of descent with modification, and not some special creation of a sky daddy.
Of course, my ‘admiration’ quickly fades when I’m forced to listen to their inane, pathetic arguments. Most fall in the category of “evolution is bad science” or “just a theory”, with proponents convinced that every single scientist is really just another faithful idiot like themselves. There’s rarely any attempt to actually argue the evidence, since none of these clowns actually understand any of it.
This presents a problem for creationists bent on removing evolution from science classrooms. Enter Tom Ridder, a former high school chemistry teacher who gained some notoriety a few months back when he sued the Blue Mountain School District in Pennsylvania for teaching evolution, which he argued amounted to teaching atheism, which this idiot thinks is a religion.
You see evolution is bad science. It proposes that sexual species can evolve and that the human brain evolved from lower forms. Neither has been shown to be even possible, no one was there to see this “evolution” even if this did happen, and the fossil record is no help. Therefore the only objective approach to evolution is to say, “Maybe; maybe not. I do not actually know”.
Maybe in the 19th century – when Evolution was still finding its legs – could you claim with any scientific credibility that we “did not know”. But with the discovery of millions of fossils, DNA, and the various other sciences which all converge together, the weight of the evidence for evolution is so great you’d have to be a complete ignoramus to claim that we still “do not know”. Speaking of ignoramus…
But most evolutionists do not say this. To the contrary they declare that evolution is a fact. Some science! They say this because they cannot fathom a Creator had a hand. And no Creator means there can be no God. Thus most evolutionists are Atheists.
Only a man blinded by his religion could say something this dumb. Sure, most scientists who study evolution will admit to irreligiosity, but this is actually a consequence of their field of study. The notion of a creator God (especially one who supposedly cares about us) evaporates rather rapidly when you study infectious diseases and parasites.
So what is this guy’s deal, exactly?
To prove this claim [that atheism is a religion], I challenge anyone in the continental USA who teaches middle school science or above, anyone running for state or federal office, or anyone who is big in the evolution community to debate the following:
Evolution is Bad Science. I, of course, will defend the affirmative.
Additionally, this debate is to take place before a jury of previously undecided people and each debater is to place five (5) ounces of pure gold in escrow, the winner, as determined by the jury, to take the pot.
Who exactly is supposed to make up this jury? Also, since when do ‘juries’ decide whether or not something is true in science? I think this guy just wants to play the odds. In America, less than half of the population believes in evolution (and roughly 10 percent also think the sun revolves around the earth). With odds this good, it plays to bank on the ignorance of your fellow Americans.
This week, my special guest is Jerry DeWitt, former pastor turned ‘atheist leader’ (that’s the New YorkTimes talking, not him). Be sure to tune into this episode, and make sure you keep him on his toes and working on a book!
“According to our Forefathers, God is the platform”
Yeah, so much so that they wrote an amendment specifically mentioning the fact that the government was not in the business of endorsing any religion, or forcing someone to pass a religious test to enter office. It was also the first fucking thing they wrote, but I’m sure a failed TV actor has a much better understanding of how they felt than historians, or the Founding Fathers themselves. So when James Madison said
“Ecclesiastical establishments tend to great ignorance and corruption, all of which facilitate the execution of mischievous projects”.
What he really meant to say was:
” Jesus is Lord, and can we please put him on the ballot or something”.
Man, making up facts is fun! I don’t even need to put references to my material, since that’s just east-coast elitist claptrap.
You’re right about one thing, Kirk. The Founding Fathers would be appalled, just not for the reasons you think.
Can you imagine hiring these lamers for your kid’s birthday party? I’m not sure they realize this, but tantalizing kids with the prospect of puppies, ice cream or sports memorabilia, only to show them an empty box that turns into a cross is the mother of all lame finales. “Look kids, the greatest gift God has ever given us is invisible!”.
It doesn’t matter how loud you scream in your opposition to religion being intertwined with politics. The decision has already been made. For those of you who thought perhaps the Democratic party had finally woken up to the idea that us ‘nones’ are an important enough minority that our desire to have a true separation of church and state would influence their policy. We were tantalized with the possibility of a political platform that made no unnecessary mention of God, but this was all a smoke screen. Democrats had already shown their spinelessness by including a passage about the important of faith, and reaffirmed their commitment to fund, with taxpayer money, the spread of all that fucking nonsense.
This, I could have stomached. It was already an unbearable intrusion, but I understood where it came from: Democrats are always pushed to religious extremes when conservatives shake their tree a little by claiming they’re a bunch of godless commies hell bent on destroying America. So in an effort to try and double down on crazy, they caved and decided the best way to lead a nation is to look like weak, spineless cowards.
The decision to include God or Israel in their platform was put to a false vote in an effort to pretend the majority of attendees agreed with the motion. The prompter was already telling you what the verdict was, but their inability to convincingly pass this shit through only goes to demonstrate the fact that us ‘nones’ have no real political party. It clarifies the fact it matters little how much we bother to scream and shout our discontent: we will be ignored. The decision to include religion in government (and sending a big gigantic finger to Palestine) had already been made, and fuck anyone who disagreed. Anyone hoping Obama had nothing to do with it would be disappointed to know the request was apparently his. So much for being on our side.
That’s what I find so terrifying about America. Making progress is impossible when it’s so easy to be dragged down into the mud. You can’t even honor the very first amendment in your own constitution, for pasta’s sake!
It wasn’t always like this. Back in the day, Presidents like James Garfield were gutsy enough to say the separation of church and state should be absolute. He even called on churches to be taxed. This obviously popular idea might perhaps explain why he was assassinated after less than a year in office, shot by – you guessed it – a crazy preacher.
So what do we do? We’re obviously powerless to stop it in our current form, and the system has shown itself as essentially corrupt. How can we hope to make change if this is true?
I believe the problem has to the systematic dismantling of religion from all OTHER aspects of our lives before we can hope to get it out of politics. That system is old, controlled by old people, who frankly don’t have the interest of future generations in mind. They are slow to act, and quick to condemn. Religion has infiltrated itself in government in almost every form (in the military, in office, and in the Supreme Court), and expunging it now seems almost impossible. With so much financially at stake (faith based organizations get more than simply tax cuts) you can bet that money will go a long way to protect their own interests. Is there a solution to this madness? Will we ever be able to make headway against this entrenched enemy?
Every once in while, a church leader will say something he actually thinks, and we’re given a snapshot into the mental lives of priests. As most of you can guess, it isn’t usually a pretty picture: religions are an old boys’ club that places fraternity over morality. This has allowed an institution like the Catholic Church to continue to harbor and defend child rapists. Even if you’ve never forced yourself on innocent kids, being part of this club warps your mind to such an extent, you actually try and defend the actions of these scumbags and instead try to blame the kids, who must have been seducing those poor priests all along, as was the case with Rev. Benedict Groeschel:
“Suppose you have a man having a nervous breakdown, and a youngster comes after him. A lot of the cases, the youngster — 14, 16, 18 — is the seducer…Well, it’s not so hard to see — a kid looking for a father and didn’t have his own — and they won’t be planning to get into heavy-duty sex, but almost romantic, embracing, kissing, perhaps sleeping but not having intercourse or anything like that…”
It’s those damn sexy kids: they can’t stop flaunting their under-developed asses in everyone’s face. Just like a girl wearing a revealing outfit in public, she’s obviously just asking to be assaulted. Why else would she dress like that?
Needless to say, when word got out that this dude was also trying to defend people who rape innocent kids, Groeschel did his best to appear apologetic. It didn’t go so well:
“I did not intend to blame the victim,” the Rev. Benedict Groeschel, of the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal, said Thursday. “A priest (or anyone else) who abuses a minor is always wrong and is always responsible.”
Hard to trust a guy who comes to the defense of anyone who molests kids, isn’t it? Has anyone given any thought to the victims of this seduction? Who will defend the Sanduskys of the future? Groeschel sure has:
“Here’s this poor guy – Sandusky – it went on for years. Interesting: Why didn’t anyone say anything? Apparently, a number of kids knew about it and didn’t break the ice. Well, you know, until recent years, people did not register in their minds that it was a crime. It was a moral failure, scandalous; but they didn’t think of it in terms of legal things.”
See, the abuse didn’t get reported because all those sexy kids really just wanted it… but of course he’s not trying to blame the victim. No sir, not one bit. I totally buy your apology, asshole, and apparently so does the man who defends the indefensible, Bill Donohue. He blamed Groeschel’s age and a recent car accident. Not sure how any of these things make you a rape apologist, but what do I know?
Don’t you love it when Christians make creepy videos telling you the ‘good news’ that you’re a sinning piece of filth who doesn’t even deserve God’s awesome love? Here’s a Walmart greeter to tell you that you don’t have to spend forever in torment if you just accept that a 2000 year old Palestinian Jew of questionable historical merit was the creator of the cosmos. Oh, the catch is, if you don’t, you’ll burn in hell forever. Sounds a bit harsh you say?
“Now I know that may seem a bit harsh ([being thrown in a lake of fire for all eternity] but ask yourself: what does a good judge do to a guilty criminal? In other words, if you do the crime, you do the time. You see, God isn’t willing for any of us to parish [sic] in spite of the fact that we’ve all sinned and we all fall short of the glory of God.”
Either Christians fail to understand the moral repugnance of an eternity of torment as punishment, or they believe that every tiny offense (of which there are countless in their religion) merits a judgement that no living person would even dare hand out. How long, for instance, would it be morally justified to torture Adolf Hitler in hell? I admit a part of me does want to seek revenge, but eternity is a long time. In fact, eternity never ends, which means there would never be respite for anyone who had committed even the most repugnant crime.
Besides, with the Christian God, being a ‘criminal’ is often the result of ‘thought crime’. The authors of the Bible are quick to point out that even lusting after someone is committing a mortal sin. You can’t even masturbate to thoughts of your neighbor’s wife without risking spending forever bathing in a lake of fire. Yeah, you’re right buddy. That does sound pretty fucking harsh.
“But here’s the good news: Proving he was God, Jesus came to this earth; performed many miracles. He raised the dead, he healed the sick, the lame, the blind, and then he did something even more miraculous: he proved he was god by fulfilling all the prophesies that were written about the coming of the Messiah who would take away the sins of the world.”
I love how endlessly impressed Christians are by second hand accounts of a series of lousy magic tricks. Surely an all powerful creator of the universe can do more than replicate a few loaves of bread and fish, or curse a bunch of pigs to die. Besides, how ‘miraculous’ is it when you fulfill prophesies you were already aware of? And what about the whole prophesy of the Messiah NOT dying and re-establishing the make believe kingdom of Judea? Seems like a rather big one right there. I remember the Jews feeling like his candidacy was severely threatened by this obvious failure.
“Why would God send his one and only son to take the punishment for your sin and for mine? Because he loves you.”
Yeah, I don’t want that kind of creepy love. Besides, if Jesus rose again, then he never really sacrificed anything more than a weekend of being beaten like a dog, all for his/his dad’s amusement. And with all that fucked up love, the deal is that if you don’t accept this pathetic charity, this very act merits your eternity in that lake of fire God so lovingly crafted for us. Man, with a friend like that, who needs enemies?
Get ready to shit your pants laughing. Hey, how are these ‘actors’ going to feel in 10 years when they realize they were in such a bigoted ad? Could you imagine starring in a commercial in the 60s condemning interracial marriages? Hey, I know times are tough, but surely paying the mortgage isn’t worth that fucking stain on your character.
Topics
New York Rabbis to defy circumcision law, Pakistan Imam accused of planting burnt Qur’an as evidence to prosecute disabled girl
Introduction: 2 day vacation in Banff, Alberta and why I understand why people thought the gods lived in mountains. Fossils for sale make it a poor destination for creationists.
Part 1: Scumbag Rabbis won’t stop dangerous practice despite law.
In New York, many Ultra-Orthodox Jews engage in the practice of metzitzah b’peh, where the Mohel is instructed to place the infant’s penis in his mouth to suck the blood. It comes from a passage in the Torah, that claims this helps prevent infection. However, the exact opposite tends to happen, resulting in serious infections, including herpes.
Less than a year after a Brooklyn tot died following an ancient circumcision ritual, the rabbis say they will ignore a proposed law that would mandate parental-consent forms before performing the dangerous procedure…Over the past decade, at least one other newborn died after contracting herpes from the rite, in which the rabbi draws blood from the penis with his mouth.[1]
Because Jews are weird, since the 18th century man may use a glass tube to perform this ceremony, however, to accommodate the fact that the government was threatening to ban circumcision, and so many orthodox Jews seized on Talmudic interpretations that allowed them to stop this practice. [2]
New York City and federal health authorities issued a public advisory Thursday cautioning against the sucking practice because it has been linked to 11 infants becoming infected with the herpes simplex virus type 1 since 2000. Ten of the infected newborns were hospitalized, two developed brain damage and two died, the health officials said.
The city had tried to prosecute Rabbi Yitzchok Fischer for infecting 3 infants (one of them eventually died), but somehow failed to conclusively prove his guilt. When the city was thinking of suing him to enforce a ban on him performing the ritual, to avoid political fallout Bloomberg allowed the matter to move on to rabbinical court. As expected, he continues to do operate today. [4]
In 2006 Mayor Bloomberg held a meeting with rabbinical leaders which proved to be pointless:[3]
“The Orthodox Jewish community will continue the practice that has been practiced for over 5,000 years,” said Rabbi David Niederman of the United Jewish Organization in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, after the meeting with the mayor. “We do not change. And we will not change.”
Part 2: Imam accused of fabricating evidence to accuse Christian girl of blasphemy
Part of this law also makes it clear that it is intended to persecute an offshoot of Islam called the Ahmadiyya [5], who believe that their 19th century prophet was the legendary Mujaddid (a man said to appear every century to ‘revive’ Islam) [6]. who came back on earth to spread his religion peacefully. Muslims in Pakistan consider them using the label Muslim to be offensive enough to make a law against it.
Since 1987, almost 700 people have been arrested, and 20 died while in custody. Back in 2009, a woman named Asia Bibi was accused of insulting Muhammad and sentenced to death by hanging. Salman Taseer, the governor of Punjab, was shot and killed by despite the man being one of his bodyguards, his murderer managed to pump over 40 bullets in his body. Government officials went on the record to say he deserved it and celebrated the killer. [7][8] He was sentenced to death, which pleased him greatly. [9]
The latest story is of this type of persecution involves a 14 year old disabled Christian girl called Rimsha Masih. After allegedly hanging around a dump site, her accusers claim she was carrying the burnt remains of the Qur’an in her bag. Barnabas Fund reported that enraged Muslims severely beat the little girl and members of her family, and torched the houses of two Christian families…Muslim shopkeepers vowed not to sell food and other essentials to Christians and that Muslim landlords would end tenancy agreements with them [10]
It’s recently come to light that the whole affair was intended to fabricate a false charge to drive local Christians out.
Imam Khalid Chishti allegedly told a witness, after tampering with the girl’s bag, that this was a “way of getting rid of Christians”, according to a prosecutor.
He has already paraded on TV making volatile and threatening remarks about Christians in the community. The government will try to make an example out of him, but they have yet to release Rimsha. [11]
What’s the fastest way to make a buck? How about exploiting desperate people afflicted with incurable diseases? Judging by the video above, it seems like they are ready to believe any promise of improved health, regardless of whether or not it has any solid merit. Desperate people make the greatest suckers, don’t they?
Enter Advance Cell Training, a program that claims to help you beat even treatable illnesses using the power of positive thinking. Now, if you’re worried some folks might make terrible life decisions based on some scam, don’t worry: they totally have this helpful ‘disclaimer’ that helps explain their therapy doesn’t actually do anything medical.
It is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. We are not doctors. The information on this website is not intended to replace a one-on-one relationship with a qualified health care professional and is not intended as medical advice. It is intended as a sharing of knowledge and information from the research of Advanced Cell Training. We encourage you to make your own health care decisions based upon your research and in partnership with a qualified doctor or health care professional.
Sharing knowledge, huh? That normally involves actual information that isn’t simply pulled out of your ass. So, what kind of therapy are these scammers trying to pull? The usual “stress is bad, makes you sick” shit that every New Age guru tries to pretend is an insight. It’s great when you pretend to cure something as ill defined as ‘stress’, since no one can really call you out on it.
Regardless of the diagnoses, four common instigators of chronic disease are stress, pathogens, allergy and autoimmune. Sick people store stress and it builds up while healthy people’s bodies eliminate it. Sick people’s bodies allow virus and bacteria to live, while healthy people’s bodies kill them. Sick people’s bodies may fight foods, pollens, smells (allergy) – while healthy people’s bodies react properly and it doesn’t contribute to illness. Sick people’s bodies may attack its own organs and tissues (autoimmune) while healthy people’s bodies nourish and protect. We seek to help the ill retrain their bodies to function like those who don’t get ill. Restore proper bodily function at the cellular level restores homeostasis, and often, quality of life for the chronically ill..
The scary thing is Lyme disease is actually treatable with antibiotics, but because of scamming pieces of shit like the ACT people (who have done a great job at remaining mostly anonymous), I’ve read countless forum threads of people who stopped taking their antibiotics before it was safe to do so. These people not only put their own lives at risk, but their irresponsible use of antibiotics could make treating the disease much more difficult.
If anyone can find me a copy of this scam (without giving these jackasses one red cent), I’d love to tear it to pieces.
As Germany and the Netherlands consider banning the barbaric and totally useless practice of ‘male circumcision’ (a better word is simply genital mutilation), they face mounting resistance from religious groups who accuse them of anti-Semitism or other such nonsense. While the WHO claims it can help lower the spread of HIV, the actual supporting figures are pretty weak, and may actually lead to risky behavior (given the false sense of security). Some enlightened doctors are protesting that the surgery is both unnecessary (outside of a few special cases) and in violation of their Hippocratic oath to do no harm.
‘We feel circumcision is a medically unnecessary form of surgery. The patient has to give consent, but children can’t give consent and we feel that is wrong and a violation of the child’s rights…In our code of medical ethics, it states that you must not do harm to the patient, but with this procedure this is exactly what you’re doing.”
California has already failed in its bid to protect the penises of young boys, with the Governor instead signing a law specifically PREVENTING anyone from banning the practice. Considering almost half of the male population in the US no longer has any foreskin, it seems doubtful a ban will ever come into effect. It’s so difficult, in fact, that even New York can’t stop herpes infected rabbis from killing kids with this nonsense:
“For the government to force a rabbi who’s practicing a religious act to tell his congregants it’s dangerous is totally unacceptable,” Niederman told The Post.
“You’re forcing the mohel and the parent to sign a piece of paper that contradicts their religious convictions.”
Yet another group of dangerous morons trying to claim their religious convictions are more important than the life of the kids they put at risk. In the 21st century, it’s still controversial to even attempt to stop herpes infested mouths from touching the mutilated penises of young infants. You can officially be depressed now.
This week, I interview Sylvia Broeckx (pronounced “Brooks), who has an Indiegogo campaign for a movie called “Hug an Atheist“. If you’re interested in supporting the campaign, please visit her site and leave a comment.
