When atheists say that the Catholic Church attracts pedophiles, we aren’t just making a crass joke. The way the Church has shielded it’s members from prosecution, the effort its put into lobbying governments to lower the statues of limitation on sexual crime, and the amount of money they have given away to keep mouths shut sends a clear message that if you are attracted to innocent children, you should join their ranks.

It seems as though Broderick Witt got the message. He was studying to become a priest, until he was eventually arrested after the police were tipped off that he possessed a bunch of really disturbing child pornography, including images with victims as young as 6 years old.

The Archdioses of Cincinnati released this rather amusing statement:

“The seminary and the Archdiocese of Cincinnati have strict policies against, and take significant precautions to prevent, anyone from possessing or accessing material of this type, regardless of whether they are a student, faculty, or staff. Discovery of such material will result in immediate termination or dismissal and notification of law enforcement,” Rev. Anthony R. Brausch, Rector said in a letter to the seminary community.

They’re finally notifying law enforcement now? That’s a pretty big departure from their regular mode of operation. You may recall that former Pope Benedict XVI had issued a memo during his tenure as the head of the Inquisition (renamed “Congregation of the Doctrine of the Faith” as it seems the centuries of bloodshed had somewhat tainted the name). It specified that Church leaders were to keep any information of abuse secret, and authorities were not to be contacted without approval from the higher ups (which they never would). I guess when you haven’t yet joined the club, they take a bit of a different approach to dealing with child predators. That means we just have to catch them before they can benefit from the protection of a trillion dollar organization. Good to know.

The depravity of Catholicism knows no bounds. It seems as though no institution run by this sinister cult is safe. Regardless of whether they are priests or nuns, the Church attracts the most disgusting and vile human beings known to man. How else can you explain the endless array of victims of their abuse?

Recently, a group of survivors in New Orleans have been trying to get some form of justice for the decades of abuse they sustained in catholic orphanages. In order to contravene the statue of limitation on child rape (which were the result of churches lobbying, incidentally), they are using a recent law that allows victims who are older than 28 the sue their victimizers, since the justice system deems these crimes to old to pursue. Unsurprisingly, the Church is also fighting this law as well.

The two orphanages in question are called “Madonna Manor” and “Hope Haven”. The church which ran these nightmare gulags have filed for bankruptcy protection, as over 100 abuse claims stemming from the two orphanages alone. The victims had other names for these hellholes:

“They’d bring you over to the Dark Tower – that’s what we called the church, the cathedral they had on the property. Running away from Madonna Manor you just wanted to be someplace else. You’re still going to an abusive environment, but it was the horrors of being sexually assaulted, like the devil was in the building.”

The lawsuits detail countless beatings and sexual abuses suffered at the hands of their caretakers, who treated the students as though they were sex toys instead of human beings. Sometimes it would be difficult to know who was doing the abuse, since they treated the place like it was that creepy sex cult in Eyes Wide Shut:

“Brother Harold was like the boss,” Leon continued. “Once you’re targeted they got lockdown units. They’d put a pillow over your face so you can’t hear what’s going on. Sometimes they wore masks to conceal [their] identity so you didn’t know who raped you.

Churches all over the country have been declaring bankruptcy in order to shield themselves from having to pay lawsuits to victims of abuse. For nearly 20 years, countless organizations have avoided responsibility by using a legal tool that is meant to protect businesses from going under. It also allows the church to group lawsuits together, and more importantly, avoid pesky legal entanglements like discovery, which prevents victims from finding out how much information about the abuse where known to church leaders.

If you’re playing Catholic Rapist Bingo, then congratulations for those of you with Ohio on your card. You’re one step closer to the grand prize, which is a lifelong hatred of the church. I’ve won this prize long ago, so it’s up for grabs.

Yet another depraved human being operating under the watchful eye of the Catholic Church has been arrested and charged for the crime of sexually abusing his young flock. In this case, it sounds like the sort of dramatic fiction that belongs to serialized dramas, and not real life.

For 15 years, Rev. Michael Zacharias used his influence, and the power granted to him by his position to lure troubled kids into a life of drug addiction and sexual slavery.

Testimony and evidence at trial showed Zacharias developed relationships with the victims’ families when they were young to gain their trust, prosecutors said. As the victims got older, he exploited their fears, their housing instability and their criminal records to force them into commercial sex.

If you’ve ever wondered how these kinds of crimes can perpetuate for so long, look no further than the cult of secrecy that manages it. The Catholic Church is the master when it comes to covering up crimes. They make even the most terrifying drug lords look like rank amateurs. The fact is that reporting abuse has far reaching consequences to anyone with career aspirations. The internal “legal system” of the church allows pastors to sue each other for slander and libel if the charges are not proven (which given the timeframes of the crimes can be quite difficult). They also face excommunication in some cases, which to a believer is equivalent to being cast into the fiery pits of hell.

It angers me that even the news outlets that has covered this story didn’t publish any testimony from the victims, but allowed a guilty man to continue to preach his innocence, as though he had nothing to do with the decades of abuse he perpetuated. Every news organizations that report on priestly abuse tend to bend over backwards to publish the bullshit lies from the PR department of the Vatican, which pretends to give a crap about the abuse of children.

Zacharias had been moved several times during his career. These types of shuffles are not uncommon for priests who start getting complaints from upset parents. I’d like to hear impact statements from the victims, not the crocodile tears of the very institution that had this man on paid leave while the investigation into the abuse continued. They had access to the same information the police did, and no doubt more, and yet they chose to stand by him until he was found guilty.

Now if there is any credit to be given to the church (and very little should be), it’s that they quite literally invented the word for pedophilia. In their twisted view, they want credit for discouraging the practice societally. I would grant it except for the fact that there are plenty of other cultures that reject it, so it does not take a great deal of moral fortitude to be against the abuse of children. Given that I know from my own father’s experience in the Catholic educational system, I can assure you that sexual abuse was only one of the forms of torture visited upon children by this vile institution. Decrying something, and then performing these same actions in the safety of the worlds most secretive organization should impress no one. It only highlights the failings of the priestly class to live up to the most basic moral precepts. Who else but a group of sexless men would want to be congratulated with inventing the word for abusing kids? As this generation’s youth would say, that’s highly sus.

If you ever believed Church rhetoric that they’re working hard to purge abusers from among their ranks, than I have a bunch of magic beans I can sell you.

Take the case of a Portuguese priest named Joaquim Nazaré, who recently exposed a dozen of his colleagues by reporting them to an Independent Commission specifically set up to investigate priestly abuse. When his employer found out, they reacted the way you would expect: they punished him for it.

You see, the problem was that one of the priests, Nuno Aurélio, had committed his vile acts 19 years ago, which meant that it passed the statues of limitation (which I should stress, was the result of the Church pushing hard to impose these limits). As a result, Aurélio claimed that the accusations amounted to slander, which the church agreed:

“Given that the burden of proof is on the accuser, it is clear that the defendant’s statements are defamatory and slanderous”, the ruling, reached last summer, continued.

“Nazaré – who had never appeared before the court – was condemned in two forms: he had to apologize not simply “personally” to Nuno Aurélio, but “publicly through diocesan channels” as a form of “reparation for the scandal”, and pay a month’s salary out of his pocket..

So imagine that your coworker sexually abused a child to the point that this person later kills themselves, and when you tell a commission specifically created to expose this kind of monstrous behavior, you’re forced to apologize to the abuser, and pay a month of your salary in punishment. I’m sure you would be thrilled.

Luckily, Nazaré is a badass who refuses to back down. He’s been removed from any position of authority as punishment as a result. His career prospects are now dead, but in my opinion, its better for him this way. Who wants to work for such a corrupt organization anyways? He’s obviously too good for them.

Keep in mind that not a single priest has actually faced any justice as a result of this investigation that found that over 5,000 people has been abused since 1950. That’s the equivalent of one kid getting raped every week (with some change left).

The Illinois Office of the Attorney General has just released it’s report of clerical abuse, and the numbers are staggering. Over 450 priests were found to have engaged in serious sexual abuses of almost 2000 children over the last 70 years (that’s an average of about 30 victims a year). This number was far higher than the paltry 103 the Illinois Diocese had self reported.

The investigation also revealed claims by at least 1,997 survivors who were sexually abused by the 451 Catholic clerics and religious brothers who are now publicly disclosed in Illinois as substantiated child sex abusers, numbers far greater than those reported by the Pennsylvania grand jury

Since no one is actually going to be held accountable for the equivalent of raping a small town, the report instead has a number of “suggestions” that the church has absolutely zero legal obligation to follow. The most reasonable, and least likely to be followed, is the request to reform the way they report crime (which has been “don’t ask don’t tell”). Unless people start going to jail over this, then there really is nothing to force the Catholic church to make any significant changes.

So, the end result is this: zero arrests, a 600 page report that exposes serious sexual abuse that will most likely be ignored by the general population. What exactly was the whole point of it then?